I know I'm off topic

But someone has to do something, Cedrika Provencher has been missing for a week, that's why I'm posting her picture on the web. Maybe if every blogger posts her picture, and we all do a little something, maybe we'll find her.

It's been a week, a whole freaking week. I can't imagine her family's sadness and anxiety... It's just the most difficult thing.

Cedrika, you are in my prayers honey, your family is too.

Edited to add another picture, the missing portrait from Radio-canada



Missing: Cedrika Provencher
Age: 9 years old
Height: 1,52 M (5")
Weight: 31 Kg (70 pounds)
Hair: Curly, brown and reddish
She was wearing a green summer dress

Information: 1800-659-4264

Find Cedrika Provencher

News article

TROIS-RIVIERES, Que. -- Police say they won't abandon the search for Cedrika Provencher until they have exhausted all leads -- and they have enough work to keep them busy for a while.

Police have received about 500 tips about the nine-year-old Trois Rivieres girl, who has been missing for a week, and are following them up, Surete du Quebec Sgt. Isabelle Gendron said.

"There is no time limit on this investigation," Ms. Gendron said Monday night. "We'll continue the investigation until there is nothing left to check out."

Despite all the calls, police still don't have a firm theory on what happened to Cedrika, who disappeared last Tuesday night after going for a bike ride in the residential neighbourhood where she lived. Cedrika was last seen about 8 p.m. by neighbours who said she was looking for a missing black and white dog.

The next day, searchers found her bicycle in a garbage container behind an apartment building about 1.5 kilometres from where she was last seen.

Ms. Gendron said at least two other children had been approached by a suspicious man in the days prior to Cedrika's disappearance, asking for help to find a black and white dog.

Jenny Girard, a Trois Rivieres woman who has three children, also told police a man on a bicycle approached her babysitter three days before Cedrika vanished and invited Ms. Girard's five-year-old daughter to swim in his pool. The babysitter turned down the offer.

Investigators have met with witnesses in hopes of getting a description of the man, but still don't have enough information to put together a composite sketch. They hope to release a sketch in the coming days.

Ms. Girard said yesterday she is anxious to view the composite sketch to see if it resembles the man who spoke to her babysitter.

Ms. Gendron said police are appealing to all Trois Rivieres parents with children about the same age as Cedrika to ask their youngsters if they saw a man looking for a lost dog.

She added, however, that while police are considering Cedrika may have been kidnapped, they are exploring other avenues as well.

"It is possible a man really did lose his dog," Ms. Gendron said. "We don't know."

Surete divers were searching the St. Maurice River Monday and officers were performing targeted searches within Trois Rivieres based on tips from witnesses.

Martin Provencher, Cedrika's father, went on television Sunday and pleaded with whoever may have abducted his daughter to release her.

Cedrika Provencher is five feet tall and weighs 70 pounds. She is white, and has curly red hair and brown eyes.

Anyone with information about her disappearance is asked to call the SQ at 1-800-659-4264.

Other link about Cedrika

An amazing feeling of freedom

Is what I felt today when I went on a sailboat for the first time ever. It was breathtaking. I swear, I've never felt that free of my entire life. The beauty of nature, the feeling that the wold has endless possibility to offer and that the sky's the only limit. That everything is possible... Oh My God!

I wouldn't go on a sailboat trip with someone I do not fully trust. Luckily, I did already fully trust the friend who took me on the lake. I did get very wet but that's alright. It's a small price to pay to feel that great.

Church was nice, brunch was great and the afternoon at the lake was just the coolest thing. The kids had a blast. 5 adults, 5 kids and a lake.....

I'm pretty sure I'll sleep well tonight, I'm pooped.

An update

I took a day off yesterday ( I still have vacations time to take) and helped The Young Priest (TYP) to paint his new apartment, shop for household stuff and then spent the evening caring for my friend's kids. I love these little boys soo much. They melt my heart...

While we moved TYP stuff from his old apartment, I kept smelling MsDM's scent all over the place. I went to her room, stood there, sad, soo very sad. I know she's in heaven, I know she's happy there and I'm still in pain because she's dead. I need to talk about it but I don't know where to start. Anyway, it was very difficult to smell the scent and remember the good times we had in that apartment. I miss her very much.

I'm going to take Monday off and the following Friday. TFB told me to take my vacations, that I deserved the time off and to take care of myself. We were on the phone this afternoon for work-related business and he joked and said I was obedient and it's true. I'm a strong spirit, not afraid to speak my mind (not afraid enough ) BUT when someone I trust is able to show me a better way to do something, I comply because there's no way to get better without changing and learning. So yeah, I'm obedient and this makes me laugh because The Ex Boyfriend would disagree with TFB and I. Hey dude, obedient and submissive aren't the same thing.

Tomorrow, I'll meet my friends and their 2 boys to church, we'll go to our favorite place for breakfast, then meet with other friends at their camping place for the afternoon and have dinner with them. This is going to be a cool day.

In my prayers today: the little 9 years old girl who's missing in Trois-Rivieres , MsDM's Dear Niece (DN), and my beloved MsDM.

A wonderful event!

I know I always seem to be complaining about my parishioners but last night, a group of people and I had organised an activity to celebrate the anniversary of our parish's founding. Well, it worked! We did the historical tour of the parish's surroundings, guess how many people joined us? Approximately 60, that's from our town, and other cities also.

I was happy that it was a success, I was happy because many people took the time to hear about their history, their past and joined us in the celebration of our great anniversary.

The Historian we had hired really delivered, he was just awesome. He stepped up to the plate. My dearest friends who live in Bigger Town came to support me, only The Nurse wasn't there but it's because she was working, the 3 others were present. God I love them)

Anyway, I'm just very thrilled this morning even tho I'm tired because I got home at 12h10 AM. Yeah, yeah... TFB, SW, The Historian and I went together for a beer after the evening. We talked and talked and talked... It was a great evening!

Oh and at my age, eating McDonald's at 12h15 AM isn't a bad choice, it's not very good but when you haven't ate anything since noon, it is good.

Thanks guys for the great evening and for making me believe that we can do great things in the parish. People like you make the difference!

A middle of the day *slice of life*...

I'm translating some stuff for work and because of the heat, because it's almost 15h00 and because I didn't got enough sleep last night, I'm fighting sleep. I'm trying not to fall asleep at my desk.

I'm trying to focus but I can't...

My mind wanders from work related thoughts to MsDM, to the scheduled parish activity for tonight, to when I'll be home to shower. I'm not focused at all!

I need to sleep, I need for the freaking day to end, I want to go home.

Jeez, anyways I'm going to the nursing home to visit someone who knew MsDM well, I was told this morning that this nice lady isn't doing well and is in shock. So I'll go visit her, she needs comfort and I think this'll make her day. That's what MsDM would want me to do...

Tonight's planned activity will be interesting, many people told me they were going to be present, if the weather can remain ok, NO RAIN please.

I need a hug, I need some sleep, I want my bed.

Oh and FYI this is a slice of life!

A week ago...

A week ago today, we celebrated the funerals of MsDM. She died on July 24th. A week has passed, a week has passed. That's unfreakingbelievable!

I miss her, this feels unreal, like unbelievable. My heart aches, my heart really aches. I want to cry, I can't I have to get to work and look OK at the very least.

Today is the feast of Saint Alphonse Maria of Ligori. St-Alphonse pray for us.

grieving and mourning

Grief is an amazing thing, it can shake you really deep and at the same time help you grow a whole lot.

I'm grieving MsDM and at the same time I'm grieving the loss of my family. What sucks and is worse is that they aren't dead but for reasons beyond my control, we can't reconciliate. Don't email me to let me know it's "fixable", IT ISN'T.

I tried for years and some things just can't be fixed because when one doesn't acknowledge their responsibility over actions and blame the other for anything and everything, things just are problematic. The Mother said very hurtful things to me including how I wasn't a part of their family that you know what? I got the freaking message. There's no need to tell me over and over again. For God's sake, I got it. I need to get over that fact and move on.

At the same time, I'm grieving MsDM, I'm going through the stages of grief in regards to my family.

You know, the thing is that MsDM gave me her friendship, her affection, her love, her kindness. She saw who I really am, like my friends, she saw ME, she loved ME. She took me for who I really am, as I did with her. She was a lovely woman, an amazing spirit. She taught me a lot about faith, about what really matters. I loved her, I still love her.

I need to write more about my feelings, I need to write her DN about the amazing healing I received from MsDM's last day. I'm finally able to to let my pain out, I'm able to cry for me, finally....

The journey is hard, the road sometimes sucks, I'm at a turning point, I need to follow the right direction. The journey to happiness is a long one, but a good one, it's one where you meet people that are God sent, they'll change your life for good. If you are willing to open your heart.

MsDM changed my life, her family touched me a lot. I'm surrounded by great friends, I need to get over the pain because of The family.

Something that one of MsDM kept telling me (and she intended no harm) was that you have to stay close and take care with your blood-related family because in the long run, they'll be the only one to stay, be there for you, support and love you. I know she means it and it is great for her but every time she said it, I felt as if a rock was hitting my heart, making it heavy. One time I said to her :

I understand that's the way it is for your family and I'm glad to hear it, but not everyone has that luck. Many families are apart for X and Y reasons. Some people can't count on their blood relatives. I know it's what makes you happy but it's not that way for everyone.

I wanted her to at least know that she's lucky, it's not that way everywhere. I didn't wanted to burst her bubble but I needed to get it off my chest.

You know the strange things, MsDM family said I was amazing, an angel and thanked me and It's fine, I know I did good but what breaks my heart is that my mother think I'm worthless and never took my side. I'll get over the pain, I need to grieve my family and move on.

I stopped at the church after my appointment with my hairdresser and lite a candle for DN. She was in pain today, she was very sad. I lite up and said " Now God, I'm lighting this candle up for DN, I'd like that you take special care of her for the time the candle will burn, send her peace, love and comfort. Please protect her, surround her with Your love, she needs it."

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


Lord, bless DN, bless all of those in pain today, send upon us your mercy, your peace and your love. Give us Your peace and the strength to follow the right direction. Bring comfort to those who need it, bring love to those who are carrying a heavy burden and please, Lord Jesus, protect all of us, your children.

MsDM, we love you and miss you. Help us!

PS: I'm open to the idea of being adopted guys. Let me know if you'd want me as a relative.

Insomnia woes or will I ever learn not to sleep late on sunday morning?

Why can't I sleep? I know, it's because I slept late all weekend. I need a job where I could work nights or at least evenings.

I'm sleepy, I'm yawning but as soon as I lay my head on the pillow, my eyes are wide open.

Can someone punch me hard enough so I'll sleep? This is ridiculous, same shit every freaking Sunday night. I need to learn my lesson and get up early on weekends so I don't mess up my internal clock. Jeez, I'll never learn.

Anyway, I'll try to get back, maybe praying the rosary would help. maybe... What doesn't help is the fact that as soon as my head hit the pillow, my brain gets activated and I start to think about the silliest things...

And the honest answer to the question is No, I'll never learn. You can roll your eyes at me, it's fine, I deserve it.

What's up with that?

I'm coming to the conclusion that a whole generation of French-Canadian were raised without a social filter. Do you think it's possible? Is this just a French-Canadian thing? Or worldwide problem?

Overheard near the park this evening:

Hey No Nonsense girl, look at me, don't look away, I've seen you. She's not looking at me, he then tell his wife.

You know what dude? When you shout inappropriate comments at my friend and I, I don't feel like I'm a part of that stupid conversation. I don't think your jokes about The Young Priest (TYP)and I are funny. Guess what dude? I don't think you're funny at all.


Is it possible that some people just never learn about social boundaries, or what to say and what not to say while in public? If I have kids, I swear, they won't be like that, or I'll lock them in their room. Don't email me to cuss at me, I know I can't lock kids in their room for years. I'll deal with motherhood when faced with it.

On the other hand, dinner was great, The Bistrot is a great restaurant, the scenery is priceless and the server was great.

Tomorrow is Monday and I hate Mondays. I can't sleep in on Mondays... Oh well, I'm alive, healthy, with great friends, that's enough to make me happy Plus, I get to bitch and moan on here all I want.

Oh and I'll be getting my own cellphone tomorrow, yippee!!!

hmm back to our regular programming....

There's another dinner tonight and I'm not going, I can't handle partying that much two nights in a row. That would kill me.

Everyone's fine today, my headache is almost gone, The Nurse and The Seminarian are both fine but I'm guessing won't be drinking tonight. I'm just staying here, quietly and will attend a church service at 19h00.

I need to pray and take some quiet time to take it easy. I want to offer up some prayers for MsDM, I want to pray for her DN and the family and friends that are hurting right now. One of her closest friend is really hurting right now and missing her.

I think what MsDM would want us to do (those she loved and that loved her) is to take care of each others as she would do it. I really believe that be important for her.

MsDM, I love you and miss you soo much. From heaven, please send me peace...Now that where you are, you can see everything, you know what I and those you loved need, please help us and guide us.

diary of a drunk catholic church worker

I know guys, I'm hilarious. I had soo much fun, The Seminarian stayed there because he was drunk as hell.

We laughed, but I'm soo sick of hearing about The Ex boyfriend. I'm sick to my stomach...and drunk...did I already say it?


I'm drunk, wait....was that already established???

Goood night guys! I love ya!!!!

MsDM's memories

This past april, a friend and I taped MsDM for an afternoon. We chatted about her family, her life, her work, her memories. We laughed and had a good time, her memories were a treasure to keep forever. The tape is now on a CD, I made 10 copies, printed a little CD card with pictures, wrote a letter to DN and dragged my a$$ to the post office.

She'll receive them tomorrow morning, guaranteed. It's nothing big, it's just something to remember her dear aunt, her "beautiful little aunt" as she called her.

I loved her "beautiful little aunt" soo much. I'll miss her, even if I know she's in heaven, even if I know she's at peace. I love her and will miss "seeing" her with my eyes.

The CD is just soo awesome to hear, it's her, her voice, her laugh, it's amazing to have as memory like that.

But he was going to church!

Yeah, like going to church fix it all. One of the parishonners said this to me this evening while visiting the expositon.

Her= How's The Boyfriend?

Me= ??? Oh fuck, I knew the time was going to come, she'll blame ME for sure. Hmm, what can i say that'll remain vague??? :::thinks::::

He's probably doing fine, what do I know?!

Her= That was priceless, the look on her face was just freaking hilarious

What Do you mean?

Me= The Ex Boyfriend and I decided to split almost 2 weeks ago. It's fine, don't worry for me.

Her= But, But, but.... He was going to church!!! He was a good man, he was going to church!!!

Me= What the hell? Seriously?

Good people go to church but a lot of of creepy jerks also. It's not a criteria, it's NOT a requirement. Thinking to myself, be careful, everything you'll say will end up in the streets, carefully pick your words hon. You are absolutly right, he's a great guy, but in some occasion, a couple can decide to split for good reasons. Simply, we weren't meant to marry each others. That's all.

Don't mention BJ, lets not go there. There's no need to shock the heck out of her. Good catholics can still be freaky.... believe me. Going to church doesn't take your humanity away from you, well it shouldn't. But the fact that one goes to church shouldn't mean i'm going to lower my expectation of what I want or don't want in my relationship.

Her= He was such a good man!

Me= HUH???!!! Yes he was, but you know what? He wasn't The One, now, lets move on. I'm still myself, that's all that matters.

All this time, I'm the one who's getting the blame, just cuz I'm respectful enough not to air our dirty laundry... Poor guy is still going to church, I think.

Seriously? :::with my best imitation à la Meredith Grey::: seriously?

Couple of points to remember:

-Going to church is good for the image.
-You can be a creep but attending church will make you look better.
-As long as you go to church, parishonners won't be questionning your choice of life, as long as they don't see it.
-If you are a woman, our judgment will be really harsh. After all, you are a sinner... daughter of eve. ::::pfft:::

What pisses me off is her and the others who kept asking me about MY freaking sex life while the EX boyfriend and I were together. Today, I'm the big meanie.

Man, do I love my parish.