I've lost a friend today

It is sad, I have lost a friend today. I'd send an email to a long time friend because it'd been a while since I'd heard from her. She send me an email back today telling me it was not an accident that she was not on my facebook friend's list anymore and that I hadn't receive any news from her. She actually read something about me and without an explanation she decided that she couldn't be friends with me. She said she didn't judge me BUT..

But what? Do you have any clue what really happen? she doesn't She doesn't know the context in which the incident took place but she made her mind without knowing and that is someone I've helped through numerous storms in her life without ever judging but she has made a judgment based on something written "hors contexte" as we say in french without knowing anything else.

My heart was broken this afternoon over the email and over my friend's words but right now I am angry at her. Who does she think she is to pass a judgment on me? Who is without sin can cast the first stone. Jn 8,7

I send back an email 30 minutes after receiving hers. She hasn't replied, I don't know if she will but I do believe I've lost a friend. I pray for her and I'm asking God to help me to forgive her for being so ignorant on something she know fucking nothing about. If only she knew what she was talking about. She passed a judgment on the most painful times of my entire life.

Sometimes people are not who we thought they were. I forgive her but I won't forget and I don't think I could ever trust again but I forgive as of my heart is not full of anger. I offer all of what is inside to Him, my Beloved.

The need to sleep

The weirdest thing that has been happening to me in the past few months is the need to sleep more. I need at least 10 hours of sleep a day when not more. I slept probably more than 16 hours last night but I got up at 4h30 am and I feel ok, rested. With fibromyalgia it is something that doesn't happen a lot.

I started last thursday ritalin to be able to focus, to fight against what is called "fibromyalgia fog". It's many neurological symptoms that make you almost unable to do anything but sleeping. It has helped right away but in the next week, I'll be trying to find the right dosage: I started at a lower dose, 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg at lunch time. No later than this because it could affect my sleep but as of now it hasn't because when it's passed 12h30, I don't take the 2nd dose.

Anyone else dealing with fibromyalgia? I take several medication and the pain med is oxycontin and it helps a lot, gave me back my life, this combined with anti-depressant and several others and keeping me active. This for me is fantastic and almost a miracle because for several months I was bed ridden and could barely walk. I will start to go to the gym next week (it will open next week at the local college, it is less expensive) and do cardio and weight training 2-3 times a week. I want to lose weight and get back in shape because it helps with the pain. It will help me get ready for the winter. I am scared because last winter was very very difficult for me healt wise...

BTW thanks to my friend Vixen, I'm happy to be back. I have been reading your blog and your DIL (it's on my google reader) even if I wasn't commenting... Much love to you 2. xxxx