Overheard this morning when we went in the rectory to get water. We were removing the farking snow from the roof top.
I was just scared. I fought my terror of heights. I'm good! I feel soo farking powerful. I did it!
I was actually very whiny when I got scared but it lasted 2 minutes, so whatever. We laughed our asses off. I mean hilarious. Removing snow and ice and breaking it with a shovel is very therapeutic and it helped me to let go of my anger.
You know, as I was telling TFB in an email minutes ago, being strong physically and morally is helping me to deal with my vulnerable side. I wanna be strong, I want to be powerful. I want to show I'm not a whimp. I am a woman, I'm feminine but I'm not incapable. I grew up in a household that did not give us the possibility to be both feminine and courageous/strong. I want to be able to cook awesomely yummy food and work my ass off physically. I want the best of both world. I want it all. I can, I am me, a capable, intelligent,caring and strong woman and yet at the same I have a very vulnerable side. I'm very sweet and nurturing and I DO want the best of those two worlds.
Do you not want the same? Why should we women just be good in bed or at being pretty and nurturing? Why can't we have it all? The strength, the power, the intelligence, and yet the caring, nurturing, motherly side? I want people to remember me as ME.
If I were to die today, I'd want written on my epitaph " She could do it all".
I have to be careful, I have a lot of pride, I have a tendency to overdo, I push myself. This morning after 3 hours of shoveling TFB said "Girl, you're exhausted, it's OK to stop and relax a bit. I can see it, you're drained, it's OK to stop". Later he told me that pride is bad, it's ok to have limits, it's more OK to listen to them and respect them. He's right! He's a wise guy and when he tells me stuff like this, I always know he's right and I believe him.
Lesson 1: Challenging yourself is great.
Lesson 2: Snow is damn heavy, especially after being on the roof since November and after tons of it plus rain and cold and snow and snow... (You get the picture)
Lesson 3: Always go on a roof with people you trust.
Lesson 4: The day after such a heavy exercice is going to be hard, so did TTF say.
Lesson 5: Fleece mitens weren't such a good idea! Those POS were soaked within an hour.
I'm dragging my ass back to my show. 5th season of Fortier.
Me: I don't wanna get down the ladder, I can't. I can't
The Tall Friend (TTF): Put your hand there, He shows me where,and your feet on the first step, then out your other hand there and your feet. Look at me.
M: I can't, can you hold me?
TTF: You can do it. Put your hand there... your feet there. Just do it slowly. We're with you, you can do it.
Me: I'll jump off the roof!
TTF: No, you can't jump, there's no enough snow yet, you'll break your legs or something.
M: Ok then, I won't get down.
TTF: You have to, do it. You can!
I looked at TheFriendlyBoss (TFB) and him in the eyes and did it. 3 times
I was just scared. I fought my terror of heights. I'm good! I feel soo farking powerful. I did it!
I was actually very whiny when I got scared but it lasted 2 minutes, so whatever. We laughed our asses off. I mean hilarious. Removing snow and ice and breaking it with a shovel is very therapeutic and it helped me to let go of my anger.You know, as I was telling TFB in an email minutes ago, being strong physically and morally is helping me to deal with my vulnerable side. I wanna be strong, I want to be powerful. I want to show I'm not a whimp. I am a woman, I'm feminine but I'm not incapable. I grew up in a household that did not give us the possibility to be both feminine and courageous/strong. I want to be able to cook awesomely yummy food and work my ass off physically. I want the best of both world. I want it all. I can, I am me, a capable, intelligent,caring and strong woman and yet at the same I have a very vulnerable side. I'm very sweet and nurturing and I DO want the best of those two worlds.
Do you not want the same? Why should we women just be good in bed or at being pretty and nurturing? Why can't we have it all? The strength, the power, the intelligence, and yet the caring, nurturing, motherly side? I want people to remember me as ME.
If I were to die today, I'd want written on my epitaph " She could do it all".
I have to be careful, I have a lot of pride, I have a tendency to overdo, I push myself. This morning after 3 hours of shoveling TFB said "Girl, you're exhausted, it's OK to stop and relax a bit. I can see it, you're drained, it's OK to stop". Later he told me that pride is bad, it's ok to have limits, it's more OK to listen to them and respect them. He's right! He's a wise guy and when he tells me stuff like this, I always know he's right and I believe him.
Lesson 1: Challenging yourself is great.
Lesson 2: Snow is damn heavy, especially after being on the roof since November and after tons of it plus rain and cold and snow and snow... (You get the picture)
Lesson 3: Always go on a roof with people you trust.
Lesson 4: The day after such a heavy exercice is going to be hard, so did TTF say.
Lesson 5: Fleece mitens weren't such a good idea!
Those POS were soaked within an hour.I'm dragging my ass back to my show. 5th season of Fortier.
8 comments:
I'm glad you finally came down! Hahaha! I'm TERRIFIED of spiders...I try to be brave when I see one, but I can't.
I'm like that, too! I want to be a domestic goddess but at the same time also be able to wield a hammer, climb a ladder, change a tire.. stuff that we're supposed to call on a man to do yet can actually do ourselves.
This made me smile. I wore fleece mittens the very first time I went skiing. I bet you can imagine how tough it is to hang onto the tow rope with soggy fleece mittens!
BTW, my cat Reynaldo likes to play a new game -- he gets on my desk and meows and if I don't drop what I'm doing and pointlessly follow him into the hallway, he knocks everything onto the floor. I have no idea why interrupting and infuriating me amuses him so. See if you can get Mr. Cat to explain it.
LOL...loved this!! you absolutely can have it all!! and when you get it, please let me know the secret, cuz i want it to, darnit~!!! thanks for coming by.
Projectmommy:
You don't have to be brave all the time. It's ok to have weakness, vulnerabilities.
CQ: Yes, this exactly!
The Gal: I can imagine the fleece mittens problems. That's what I had yesterday. M.Cat does the same thing. They must be related. Last night, I shut the door and he was OUTSIDE of my bedroom, man, he was pissed when I got up. LOL!!! Something's wrong with them.... I kinda like reynaldo now. Ha Ha HA!!! I like weirdos. ;)
Sissy: I don't think there's a secret... Well, I don't know it now.
YET. ;)
Very interesting post.You seem to be an inspiration...U r so right about the capability of females...have a great day..
chikku :)
You are just the best! Can you date my son please???? pretty please? Or could he be too young b/c he's only 20? He just got burnt really bad and someone like you with a wicked humor would be good for him.
LOL at least when my husband shoveled the roof, there was at least 4-6 feet of snow for him to fall into. I give you credit for getting up there, not me!!!
And BTW what is up with pre-dawn hours and cats? Are they just testing us?
I will be back to blogging, once I get my Ibook back, this borrowing my husband's pc is for the birds, though I can listen to myyahoo radio station at least....hugs back at you! Have a good week.
Oh Jenny, If he doesn't mind a 29 years old I wouldn't mind a 20 years old. ;)
I wanna meet someone special, a gentleman, someone funny, genuine who wants to build a future. I want to laugh, I want to feel free with my partner. I want him to be my friend and my lover... (if that makes sense)
I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to be able to do it! I also feel safe with The Tall Friend and The Friendly Boss, so I was up for the challenge.
I'n glad you'll be back at blogging. I've missed reading you.... But I also understood.
Tell you son that he'll meet someone as great as he is. Tell him I say hi!
:)
They are testing us... (the kitties)
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