Monday, August 22, 2011

I've lost a friend today

It is sad, I have lost a friend today. I'd send an email to a long time friend because it'd been a while since I'd heard from her. She send me an email back today telling me it was not an accident that she was not on my facebook friend's list anymore and that I hadn't receive any news from her. She actually read something about me and without an explanation she decided that she couldn't be friends with me. She said she didn't judge me BUT..

But what? Do you have any clue what really happen? she doesn't She doesn't know the context in which the incident took place but she made her mind without knowing and that is someone I've helped through numerous storms in her life without ever judging but she has made a judgment based on something written "hors contexte" as we say in french without knowing anything else.

My heart was broken this afternoon over the email and over my friend's words but right now I am angry at her. Who does she think she is to pass a judgment on me? Who is without sin can cast the first stone. Jn 8,7

I send back an email 30 minutes after receiving hers. She hasn't replied, I don't know if she will but I do believe I've lost a friend. I pray for her and I'm asking God to help me to forgive her for being so ignorant on something she know fucking nothing about. If only she knew what she was talking about. She passed a judgment on the most painful times of my entire life.

Sometimes people are not who we thought they were. I forgive her but I won't forget and I don't think I could ever trust again but I forgive as of my heart is not full of anger. I offer all of what is inside to Him, my Beloved.

The need to sleep

The weirdest thing that has been happening to me in the past few months is the need to sleep more. I need at least 10 hours of sleep a day when not more. I slept probably more than 16 hours last night but I got up at 4h30 am and I feel ok, rested. With fibromyalgia it is something that doesn't happen a lot.

I started last thursday ritalin to be able to focus, to fight against what is called "fibromyalgia fog". It's many neurological symptoms that make you almost unable to do anything but sleeping. It has helped right away but in the next week, I'll be trying to find the right dosage: I started at a lower dose, 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg at lunch time. No later than this because it could affect my sleep but as of now it hasn't because when it's passed 12h30, I don't take the 2nd dose.

Anyone else dealing with fibromyalgia? I take several medication and the pain med is oxycontin and it helps a lot, gave me back my life, this combined with anti-depressant and several others and keeping me active. This for me is fantastic and almost a miracle because for several months I was bed ridden and could barely walk. I will start to go to the gym next week (it will open next week at the local college, it is less expensive) and do cardio and weight training 2-3 times a week. I want to lose weight and get back in shape because it helps with the pain. It will help me get ready for the winter. I am scared because last winter was very very difficult for me healt wise...

BTW thanks to my friend Vixen, I'm happy to be back. I have been reading your blog and your DIL (it's on my google reader) even if I wasn't commenting... Much love to you 2. xxxx

Saturday, August 20, 2011

on being single

In november 2008 I wrote what I'd realise about being single and almost three years later it hasn't changed. I feel the same, I am confortable in my own skin. I love men but I am just too broken inside to be in a relationship. (at least I don't pretend not to be and screw up someone else) I hear you say that I should go in therapy and you know what? I've been there more than 4 years and I have healed my wound but there are some that cannot go away and the best way to remain happy and sane is to know your limits and needs and mine are my inability to be in an intimate relationship. It was screwed up and cannot be repaired. So instead I am (and I have been) offering God my life. I am and will be devoting my life to His service and to the service of those in need.

It is kind of strange to go back in the past and read what I'd written, without going in any details. :-)

two and a half years later

This is a much due update, I've kept this blog private but I've never read my posts in the last years, things were good and bad at the same time. When they were good, they were very good. When they were bad, oh my, they were bad.

I'm a full time student at Big Bad University in City A (2 hours away from me) but I take all of my classes in the city I reside in because my Diocese has implanted a School of Theology and pastoral care affiliated with Big Bad University because their reputation is excellent. So our professor are either Lay minister with Master's degree or with PH'd in Theology and sometimes it's professor from BBU that do come from City A. It hasn't been the opposite (us having to go there). There are 40 000 students in BBU's campus but we're never more than 50-75 and I've been the only full time student. Our School of Theology and pastoral care was implanted in 2004-05. It is quite recent. Anyway, I'm glad it has allowed me to stay in my area but the other side of the medal is that in a small institution you have less classes available and when you're full time like me, you end up taking more online classes than you'd like.

I've been very very ill with debilitating fibromyalgia, it all started a little more than 18 months ago and since then my life hasn't been the same. It took my dr and I several months to figure out the right medication that would take the severe pain away but we finally found it and it's not as bad now that it is under control. What I have to fight is the "fibro fog" but I started this week a new medication "Ritalin" to help me focus and concentrate on my school work and be able to read. The past 4-5 weeks were too bad.

I think I'm going to be blogging again. I hope people will be reading me.

xxx

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I'm writing for myself

I'm writing for myself because I've set the privacy of this blog as "only readers that are invited by me can read". Why you ask? I don't know. I've been trying to keep my thoughts private. I'm trying to explore my spiritual path and grow and need to do it by myself first and foremost. I'll open again when I feel ready. It's not easy.... I haven't post in the past months because I was going thought a rough time and just didn't wanted the whole world to know. eh? I know, weird huh??? 

God has sent me a friend though my journey. You know how I didn't even considered myself Catholic anymore because of soo many disagreement with the Institution? And it's true, many things within the Institution are painful for me. 

But I met a terrific young woman at a Diocesan meeting and we clicked. She's a woman of faith and we've been  having great discussions and it's helping me and I can vent, exchange my opinions, discuss these subjects.  I don't know where this will take me but I have faith in God that he will take me where he wants me and where I'll be at peace and happy.

College is? Well, grades are awesome, I work my butt off but I don't enjoy it but I've been applying for another degree for fall 09 and if it doesn't work out, I've got a plan B and a plan C. But I'm stressing out with money and finances and it's quite painful but whatever. In God I trust, nothing more I can do....

I'll be back, I'll be back and I'm very grateful for my new friend, she is too. I'm grateful for the people in my life too. Thinking of each and every of you in my thoughts and prayers. 



Saturday, November 1, 2008

7 weird facts about me

I was tagged by Ally at" Just a diamond in the rough" for this meme.

1. The name of this blog should be "Diary of a former catholic church follower/believer".
2. I prefer cold weather to very warm weather...
3. When I was a kid I use to bite my toenails. ( gross, I know)
4. I've been listening to Loreena McKennit non stop for 7 weeks...
5. I prefer very cold temperature inside my own home... I'm not much of a heater.... Quite the opposite. 
6. I can multi-task, I just have to listen to something for my brain to memorize it. I don't need to pay attention... 
7. It's snowing here and I think it's awesome. 

Mr.Cat passed away 2 weeks ago... He got very ill and Friday October 17, I took him to the vet and was told that my poor baby's bladder and kidney were blocked. The vet told me that usually an easy surgery fixes it but that he was in bad shape, very much in pain... My poor little friend so I called my angel, she met me at the clinic, we pet, loved, hugged and kissed him, I sang to him, my angel and I said our goodbyes and then, he left us. I was a crying mess, my angel was a mess too. He was such a class act, he was truly the best cat ever...  

It's been 2 weeks and altho I miss him, I'm ok.... And no, I'm not going to get another cat anytime soon.

I'm tagging anyone who want to play for this meme and I'm keeping each of you in my thoughts and I'm sending love.







Friday, October 10, 2008

A much due update

As requested by Vixen this afternoon I'll post an update for everyone who've been following me for the past 15 months.

School, well I'm glad I took the class because I got to meet 2 awesome women who that I've grown to be really close to in a matter of weeks.

Sometimes Life puts someone on your road and it feels you've known this person all your life, in a matter of days there's a bond that is impossible for me to explain, a trust that feel we've known each other for a million of years and a love that's unexplainable... But freaking good and positive and sweet and great. So I've met 2  friends and one of them is a shining star who's helped me to grow soo much in such a short time. 

I'm going to finish the program but I'm not at my place. I want to work with humans, I wanna help other people, I want to listen, make in a difference, I want to use my heart, not just my brain. 

I'm going to finish this program and probably be doing a Bachelor degree in Social Work, for sure I'm going to go in that field. The details are still being thought about at the moment. 

I've lived some type of awakening, the Catholic Church just isn't my place anymore, I don't believe in the doctrine, I don't believe in most of the tenets of the church. The awakening is leading me to a more human belief, to a more spiritual but absolutely not religious path. I'm fine in that but I feel I'm going to disapoint soo many of my friends. It's like I'm outing myself out of the closet. It would almost be easier to come out about something like being gay or having had an abortion because few of my friends that I love very much are really strong in their beliefs and I just want to keep them as friends but the religious part just isn't me anymore. And I mean, I'm not even sure I consider myself Christian anymore. It's that good or that bad depends on which side of the fence you're sitting on. Ha!Ha!Ha!!!

Last tuesday (on the 3oth of september) I got myself a tattoo. I'd been thinking about it for several months and finally got it and man, this has changed me in several ways. I got the kanji sign for "Courage" tattooed on my lower back. It's beautiful and it's been healing well. I'm almost done and I don't feel anything but happiness about this part of myself.

I was able to finally realise and feel good about something else. I love men, I find them beautiful, smart, sweet, sexy BUT I've never seen myself in a relationship. 

I got into the whole "society that pressures women to be in a relationship if they want to be normal" but man, I want to stay single. I'm happy and content that way, I don't want a boyfriend or a partner or nothing. I'm happy as myself and there's nothing wrong about it. There's nothing wrong about me.

I doubt I'll ever have kids, if I come to that, I'll do Artificial Insemination but quite honestly, I adore kids but I don't have the feeling inside of me that cries for maternity. I love kids and babies and I'm a great auntie but I don't have a call to motherhood and I'm normal and fuck society if it wants to make me feel bad about it.

There's not much else going on. I need to get my butt back to my accounting assignments for the weekend. I've got a lot of work to do.

I'm here and I'm happy!

Peace

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sunday Stealing

Stolen from The Gal Herself , this is Sunday Stealing

1.My uncle once: showed me how to eat 2 bigmac

2. Never in my life have I: gone skinny dipping

3. When I was five my parents: had 3 kids

4. High school was: I don't want to remember

5. I will never forget to: take my keys when I leave the house!

6. Once I met: the prime minister of quebec in 1995, Mr. Jacques Parizeau

7. There’s this boy I know: who takes his pack to school very seriously

8. Once, at a bar, I: got drunk and woke up the next day not remembering anything...

9. By noon, I’m: waking up during the weekend

10. Last night I: read all evening while taking care of my sinusitis

11. If only I had: a smaller tummy

12. Next time I go to church: I'll mark it in my calender

13. What worries me most is that I: won't achieve all my dreams

14. When I turn my head left I see: my printer

15. When I turn my head right I see: my tv

16. You know I’m lying when I: am saying I love my parish priest 

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: nothing

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: ???

19. By this time next year I will: finished with my college program and employed

20. A better name for me would be: Miss Perfectionnist

21. I have a hard time understanding: Republicans

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: be doing it back in 2 days...

23. You know I like you if I: want to spend time with you

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: depends, God? 

25. Take my advice, never buy a warranty from Staples.ca, these people are crooks. 

Unconscious Mutterings

  • Please mutter with me.  Together our individual mutterings create a symphony of mind, thought, and joy.  Our word association prompts were created by the lovely Pea at LunaNina.com

    Here’s the list!  Leave your answers in the comments and I’ll post your link!
  • Groceries :: shopping
  • Deodorant :: a must
  • Psychic :: rubbish
  • Cherries :: yummy
  • Spooky :: horror movies
  • Yogurt :: yummy
  • Kitchen :: cleaning
  • Nothing personal :: 
  • Be nice :: rude
  • Delivery :: room


  • Monday, August 25, 2008

    Commonly confused words test

    Click to do the test


    Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

    English Genius

    You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 80% Expert!


    You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

    Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

    English isn't even my first language, I feel quite smart, what was your result?

    Sunday, August 24, 2008

    What your bed says about you?

    Taken from The Gal's, here are my answers. mrgreen


    What Your Bed Says About You



    Outward appearances are very important to you. You do your best to look good and have an attractive home.



    You try to be an organized person, but you often fall behind. Certain parts of your life tend to fall into chaos.



    You are very high maintenance. You like everything a certain way, and you're grumpy if things aren't the way you like them.



    In relationships, you tend to kick back and let the other person be in charge.



    You tend to be a dreamy, head in the clouds type of person. You think in terms of possibilities.



    You are a total homebody. You are happiest when you're at home.

    Unconscious muttering

    From Lunalina's, here's this week unconscious mutterings:

    1. Cry :: out
    2. Stretch :: marks
    3. Efficient :: me
    4. Brunch :: sunday
    5. Afro :: hair
    6. Preheat :: convenient food
    7. Delicious :: chocolate
    8. Global warming :: scary
    9. Actions :: saving the world
    10. Ride :: home

    Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.

    That's an admirable goal, but for the purposes of this excercise, we're just hoping to have a little fun with the technique. Each week I'll post ten words to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind.

    "Rules are, there are no rules." There are no right or wrong answers. Don't limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head. AND you don't have to have your words up on Sunday. Take all week if you want!

    Monday, August 18, 2008

    You are Ernie

    You Are Ernie
    Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

    You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

    You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

    How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!


    Thanks to Jenny and The Gal. They both took it and inspired me to do the same.

    Sunday, August 17, 2008

    Unconscious Mutterings

    I took this from my friend Claudia's few minutes ago.

    1. Signature :: pen
    2. Olympics :: medals
    3. 100% :: success
    4. Damn! :: again
    5. Gold :: medal
    6. Fresh and natural :: look
    7. Fraction :: math
    8. Hurry :: late
    9. Summer :: over
    10. 29th :: end of the month
    I hope everyone is having a good day. I got up very late but that's OK, it's sunday. A day to rest and relax. I should be baking biscottis but alas, I don't have all the almonds I need, so I'll wait and bake 'em tomorrow or take my butt to the grocery store today. We shall see.

    Saturday, August 16, 2008

    Saturday nine


    1. Do you worry about your next birthday? yeah, I'm turning 30 fucking years old. Fark, this makes me feel really old. 

    2. Have you ever lied about your age in the recent past? If yes why?  nah, people don't really believe I'm 29 anyway. 

    3. Have you ever lied about your age when you were young? If yes why? yes, to buy some alcohol. 

    4. How much older have you been a person that you were romantically involved? older, I think 3 years. 

    5. How much younger have you been a person that you were romantically involved?  22 years younger

    6. Have you ever been consider a sibling, rather than parent of your child? I don't have kids, so it never applied. 

    7. If you have had children, did you factor in age when deciding to have a sibling? I don't have kids

    8. If you have not had children, are you happy with your choice and/or fate? I will have kids one day, I am waiting either a) for the correct man or b) if I haven't met Mr.Right when I'm 33, I'll have an artificial insemination with a donor. (clinics here accept single women) 

    9. Do your siblings have kids? Are you close to them? Their ages? My siblings don't have kids, yet. 

    Thanks so much for joining us again at Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!

    Thanks to The Gal for inspiring me to do this meme. 

    Wednesday, August 13, 2008

    Had my first driver's lesson tonight and other things...

    I'm posting and running. This evening TTF gave me my first driver's lesson. I drove around for over 30 minutes, it was fun, instructive and easier than I thought and I wasn't scared.

    I'm really happy and thrilled!!! It was something that we'll be doing again. ::big grin::

    Guys, keep Funsize and her family in your thoughts and prayers, she lost her baby boy Colin at 33 weeks  and 4 days of gestation. They need all the love, prayers and thoughts you guys can give.Follow the link and read her story. 

    I've been better at reading and visiting your blogs! I will be back on track soon. Oh and by the way, classes are going to be starting on september 2nd. That time, it shouldn't be delayed. Yipee!






    Wednesday, August 6, 2008

    Guess what I'm doing tomorrow morning?

    I'm going for my driver's license, it's my learner's license but nonetheless a permit to drive. I'm a little bit stressed but I'm always a worrier so it's not a big shock that I would feel anxiety. I'm sick with a bad cold, that stinks but last week The Lawyer and her family were sick with it and I stayed with them and caught it. I'm feeling terrible but with the help of decongestant, I guess I'll survive. It could be worse. ;)

    The rest is well, I've been feeling quite detached from this blog. I can't really explain it, maybe it's something that happens to every blogger, maybe it's just be, what do I know?

    So I'm enjoying my Neo Citran and will soon get my butt to bed so I can rest and be in shape for tomorrow. I'm leaving at 7h30. I'll let you know If I get the licence tomorrow. Think and pray for me?


    Tuesday, July 29, 2008

    I'm alive

    Just to let you know that I'm doing well, I'm alive and I've just being busy (that's why the lack of update). I celebrated my 1st anniversary on the blog 10 days ago. :)

    I hope you guys are well. I'll be updating more tomorrow, I'm not home. If anyone wants to get in touch with me, my email addy is in my profile.

    Take care!

    Saturday, July 12, 2008

    The bad blogger update

    I don't even have a good excuse for being missing from the blogosphere other than life's been keeping me busy and happy.

    On the student, the update is that we hired a young lady that's being doing a FANTASTIC job. She's serious, wants to work, on time, dedicated and people appreciate her. It's been a good thing. We hired her on July 3rd and she started on the 4th. And because of the fact that she's independent and doing a good job, I've been able to not go there as much. I have to admit that The Lawyer has pushed me to let go and let her work alone and to trust her. (cut the cord) I'm maybe over-protective, insecure or controlling ??? (Don't answer) but I wanted to go there too much and she gently but firmly told me that once a week to visit my student is enough. She can reach me at home or on my cell phone if there's anything, but nothing more than that.

    On the topic of being pushed (insert roll-eyes smiley)The Lawyer's been pushing me (gently and with affection) about me not having my driver's license. I have finally, after many discussions, taken an appointment for august 7th to ger my learner's license. I have refused for over 10 years, it was not even something I was willing to discuss. lol But sometimes, when you are ready to be pushed, you "get the message". mrgreen

    I've been working but also reading a lot, taken some sun, enjoyed the summer even if we haven' been having that much nice weather. Even if I'm just enjoying life I've been working and growing a lot inside ...

    I miss you guys but I'm not far, I'm just on the other side of the blog's door. My one year anniversary is coming, I'm going to get my butt back at it's place.smile

    Wednesday, July 2, 2008

    A belated update but I've got a good excuse

    You won't believe it but guess what? The Friendly Boss and I have to interview students again tomorrow for the fucking summer job. The one we hired wasn't doing a good job, I'll tell you the stories in another post but he quit this morning.
    rolleyes We didn't needed that. I've been wondering, what the hell am I suppose to learn from all of this?

    1. Don't trust anyone
    2. The generation of the 20 years old and less sucks (What are they called, the Y generation?)
    3. Dealing with employee is a pain in the ass?
    4. I can't control everything and sometimes even if you do your best, things still end up getting fucked?
    5. Patience and letting go?
    6. None of these answers, God's just testing your faith and you have miserably failed?
    lol

    I'm half kidding, this has taken it's toll on me, I feel like hell, I don't sleep really well and I just want my life back. I seriously just want my damn life back.

    breathe, breathe, breathe... Everything will work out great, in the end, it'll be fine. Tomorrow, we are interviewing 5 students, I gave them all a call and had a little chit-chat with them today. We'll see what happens. Pray for us please?

    On the personal level I've had an awesome girl's night out last Friday with The Passionate One, The Lawyer and The Cute Blonde, we went shopping, bought clothes and went for sushis, it was great. smile Saturday night The Lawyer's parents were celebrating her brother's birthday and we played games until very late and on Sunday night I babysat 8 kiddos, ranging from the age of 2 to 12. lol

    Off to get my butt back in the Parish's computer. I'm sorry for the lack of update and visits to each and every one of you. I promise, I'll be back.


    :::smooches:::

    Wednesday, June 25, 2008

    Tag time


















    The Gal herself tagged me, and I'm glad, because it gives me an excuse to use this cool picture. Now, here are the rules:

    a) Link to the person who tagged me.

    b) Mention the rules.

    c) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself.

    d) Tag 6 other bloggers by linking to them.

    e) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.

    And now, I am sure, more than you ever wanted to know...

    1. I've got a very high score on Word Challenge on Facebook but I didn't achieve this alone. One afternoon, The Lawyer and I worked as a teem on Word Challenge and score this high result. I'm not proud of it because I didn't achieve this alone. I'm smart but not fast as she is. She, BY HERSELF beat me a week after and I think she's awesome and freaking smart.

    2. If my underarms aren't shaved, I feel dirty. lol

    3. I feel naked when I'm not wearing foundation and powder.

    4. I wear size 6 or 7 in shoes. (6 if they are hush puppies, 7 for the others)

    5. Every time I'm afraid or scared I pray and it calm me down.

    6. I'm efficient, productive and I love to be in the action. I just need to learn to manage my perfectionism so it stays positive and doesn't eat me inside.

    I'm tagging anyone who wants to play? Vixen? Lara? The Mommy Project? Ruff Diamond? Claudia? Izzy? Jehara?


    Sudoku are a good remedy for insomnia...

    Yeah, they sure are. I'm doing them in a book at the moment. I worked most of the day at the Parish's computer working in the new program transferring and entering manually the data. It's boring, I, mean really boring but it needs to be done. I'm actually late but fuck, there's soo many hours in a plus when you've got plenty of things to do and a life. This is super important for me. Taking care of myself and having a life outside of The Parish.

    I'm relaxing and trying to get myself ready for sleep by doing sudoku in a little book, I played "Word Challenge" on Facebook, for some reasons, using my brain helps me relax.
    rolleyes I know, I'm strange.

    Tomorrow is the first day of my student at The Church, I hope it's going to work out. I trained him for a part of the afternoon Monday, reviewed everything with him and I'll be with him tomorrow morning to start and I'll be present on and off for the first days, then, "God willing" things will turn out well and this is going to be easy for me as the supervisor. I am putting "God willing" in quote because I am not in control of the situation and I told him (God) that I was on the edge of losing my mind so help me god, this needs to be an easy thing. lol

    It was the St-Jean Baptiste in Quebec yesterday, which is for Quebec what the 4th of July is for the Americans. On Monday night, a bunch of friends got together but before I had dinner at The Lawyer's house with another friend of ours, it was fun, we had fun with The Lawyer's baby boy.

    Oh, my MacBook went to the Apple official repair store on Monday because he was slow and the technician changed the memory and it's back to it's regular speed. I had to reinstall everything, the program, the backup I made of evertything I had on my baby and I'm just happy it's working.

    The Gal is right, I know I need a break from The Parish because I'm starting to feel like an angry bitch and these people don't have to pay for my lack of energy and need for vacations. I mean, even if they aggravate me sometimes, they just shouldn't have to pay for this and I'm being careful not to lose my smile and niceness when I'm doing church's stuff.

    I've been feeling a bit better because I was actually able to enjoy some time with friends, real fun times. Nice talks, heart-to-heart, laughs and that kinda lightened my mood. I was in such a pissed off mood Friday and Saturday I almost sent The Friendly Boss (TFB) my resignation letter.
    lol But the poor guy's vacation for the week and I didn't wanted to give him a heart attack when he'll be back home. Instead, I'll talk with him when I'm calm down and well rested. He was right and it's a bit painful for me to admit but he told me back at the end of May that he was worried that if he was giving me too much things to manage for The Church Council that I would overdo and not respect myself and get tired. He knows I'm a perfectionist, he knows I want nothing but perfection from myself. He was right that I took too much and that I just can't manage everything. But I want to be able to, I'm powerful and strong, I can do anything I want. Nothing is too heavy for me to handle. I can manage everything without losing my sanity.
    lol I'm such a fucking liar, I just need to let go and not take everything soo seriously, I can do so much, I'm just a human.

    Poor TFB was once again right. I may or may not tell him what I just posted. I'm sure he already knows, the man knows me THAT much. mrgreen

    So until I can sleep I'm going to be doing sudoku and doing the tag given by The Gal.
    wink

    Sunday, June 22, 2008

    Guess what?

    I went to mass on Saturday night, as you know, I've not been such a faithful catholic in the past months. I guess when you are behind the scene (aware of what goes on in the community), sometimes it's just enough to keep someone away from practising. But I needed to go because I wanted to inform the parishioners that we'll be having a student at The Church for 6 weeks and to invite them to visit and come while the church's doors are open.

    Mass was OK I guess and my little speech before the last prayer went well. I thought I was clear and I thought people understood my words but after 3 people came up to me and said "What did you say?" and suddenly I remembered that people just don't pay attention when someone speaks at the microphone. For some odd reason, they don't listen. I knew better than getting mad because it's always that way but it did piss me off a little bit.

    My compassion meter is a bit broken when it comes to church business and that's freaking sad. I think I need vacations from The Parish because I have no tolerance left. I'm tired, I have been swamped and overwhelmed with Church council's business and I need a break. I'll get it in a few weeks. I'm going to survive and be well because I have a "real-life" outside of the Parish but I need a serious and total break and as soon as my student is able to work by himself and function well and as soon as the Parish's datas are transfered I'm going to be on vacation for few weeks.

    I got a call Friday morning from The College and my college program is scheduled to start on August 18. mrgreen

    Other than that life's been treating me well, I've been able to spend quality time with friends and enjoying myself... I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you guys as much as I use to. I promise, I'll get my butt back in gear soon enough. How's life been treating each and every one of you?

    Wednesday, June 18, 2008

    The "donated" furniture

    Sorry about the quality of the picture and one of them really sucks but here's the "donated" furniture. I requested the permission of the President of the church council and he agreed as long as his face wasn't on them. (he was posing in the first pictures we took)

    So what do you guys think? Anyone want it?

    Saturday, June 14, 2008

    Saturday update with pictures

    I had a crazy week, that's mostly why I didn't update but I'm back.

    I have my student, I hired him Tuesday in the late evening, he starts on June 25st and I'm happy about this (TFB is happy too). Will I be willing to do the process again next year? I can't answer now but we'll see.

    Church council on Tuesday night was, let's put it this way "weird", Mr. Power Trippin' was on a roll. Not only did his actions bother me but The Tall Friend saw it himself, The Friendly Boss too, I think he has huge issues with women and I am one. That's one of the problem with the clergy, some of them can't stand women, they think we are inferior and react strangely to our presence. Whatever... (I would write more about the issue but with my luck, someone from the Parish will find my blog and know I'm referring to "him", I could refer to him as "He, who shall not be named". lol

    I took pictures for The Gal, of my purse and my shoes and the new shoes I got yesterday. The brown leather shoes and purse I bought last week and the black leather highheels shoes, I got yesterday. I love 'em. I feel feminine, hot, sexy... mrgreen (sorry for the crappy pictures)

    I was sick last night with acid reflux and for some reason, puked my gut out until 1h00 AM. The freaking acid burns... Oh my gosh, but I'm better now, I did think I was not going to survive this but all is well. smile

    I just vacuumed, mop the floors and did laundry. I'm going back to reading a book and relaxing. I need this, after a few week of Parish's hell, I need a break.