In the past 2 years and a half I've been back no only in Church but doing graduate studies in Theology. I have a year left before I graduate. I have been through a rollercoaster with illness and the presence of God, my friends, real life and all the discoveries made when you study in Theology. I've mature, grown, changed, lost weight, gained it back. ;-) My perspective on life has changed when I got very ill.
Monday, August 22, 2011
I've lost a friend today
But what? Do you have any clue what really happen? she doesn't She doesn't know the context in which the incident took place but she made her mind without knowing and that is someone I've helped through numerous storms in her life without ever judging but she has made a judgment based on something written "hors contexte" as we say in french without knowing anything else.
My heart was broken this afternoon over the email and over my friend's words but right now I am angry at her. Who does she think she is to pass a judgment on me? Who is without sin can cast the first stone. Jn 8,7
I send back an email 30 minutes after receiving hers. She hasn't replied, I don't know if she will but I do believe I've lost a friend. I pray for her and I'm asking God to help me to forgive her for being so ignorant on something she know fucking nothing about. If only she knew what she was talking about. She passed a judgment on the most painful times of my entire life.
Sometimes people are not who we thought they were. I forgive her but I won't forget and I don't think I could ever trust again but I forgive as of my heart is not full of anger. I offer all of what is inside to Him, my Beloved.
The need to sleep
I started last thursday ritalin to be able to focus, to fight against what is called "fibromyalgia fog". It's many neurological symptoms that make you almost unable to do anything but sleeping. It has helped right away but in the next week, I'll be trying to find the right dosage: I started at a lower dose, 10 mg in the morning and 5 mg at lunch time. No later than this because it could affect my sleep but as of now it hasn't because when it's passed 12h30, I don't take the 2nd dose.
Anyone else dealing with fibromyalgia? I take several medication and the pain med is oxycontin and it helps a lot, gave me back my life, this combined with anti-depressant and several others and keeping me active. This for me is fantastic and almost a miracle because for several months I was bed ridden and could barely walk. I will start to go to the gym next week (it will open next week at the local college, it is less expensive) and do cardio and weight training 2-3 times a week. I want to lose weight and get back in shape because it helps with the pain. It will help me get ready for the winter. I am scared because last winter was very very difficult for me healt wise...
BTW thanks to my friend Vixen, I'm happy to be back. I have been reading your blog and your DIL (it's on my google reader) even if I wasn't commenting... Much love to you 2. xxxx
Saturday, August 20, 2011
on being single
It is kind of strange to go back in the past and read what I'd written, without going in any details. :-)
two and a half years later
I'm a full time student at Big Bad University in City A (2 hours away from me) but I take all of my classes in the city I reside in because my Diocese has implanted a School of Theology and pastoral care affiliated with Big Bad University because their reputation is excellent. So our professor are either Lay minister with Master's degree or with PH'd in Theology and sometimes it's professor from BBU that do come from City A. It hasn't been the opposite (us having to go there). There are 40 000 students in BBU's campus but we're never more than 50-75 and I've been the only full time student. Our School of Theology and pastoral care was implanted in 2004-05. It is quite recent. Anyway, I'm glad it has allowed me to stay in my area but the other side of the medal is that in a small institution you have less classes available and when you're full time like me, you end up taking more online classes than you'd like.
I've been very very ill with debilitating fibromyalgia, it all started a little more than 18 months ago and since then my life hasn't been the same. It took my dr and I several months to figure out the right medication that would take the severe pain away but we finally found it and it's not as bad now that it is under control. What I have to fight is the "fibro fog" but I started this week a new medication "Ritalin" to help me focus and concentrate on my school work and be able to read. The past 4-5 weeks were too bad.
I think I'm going to be blogging again. I hope people will be reading me.
xxx
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I'm writing for myself
Saturday, November 1, 2008
7 weird facts about me
Friday, October 10, 2008
A much due update
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday Stealing
Unconscious Mutterings
Please mutter with me. Together our individual mutterings create a symphony of mind, thought, and joy. Our word association prompts were created by the lovely Pea at LunaNina.com
Here’s the list! Leave your answers in the comments and I’ll post your link!Monday, August 25, 2008
Commonly confused words test
Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...
English Genius
You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 80% Expert!
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
What your bed says about you?
What Your Bed Says About You |
Outward appearances are very important to you. You do your best to look good and have an attractive home. You try to be an organized person, but you often fall behind. Certain parts of your life tend to fall into chaos. You are very high maintenance. You like everything a certain way, and you're grumpy if things aren't the way you like them. In relationships, you tend to kick back and let the other person be in charge. You tend to be a dreamy, head in the clouds type of person. You think in terms of possibilities. You are a total homebody. You are happiest when you're at home. |
Unconscious muttering
- Cry :: out
- Stretch :: marks
- Efficient :: me
- Brunch :: sunday
- Afro :: hair
- Preheat :: convenient food
- Delicious :: chocolate
- Global warming :: scary
- Actions :: saving the world
- Ride :: home
That's an admirable goal, but for the purposes of this excercise, we're just hoping to have a little fun with the technique. Each week I'll post ten words to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind.
"Rules are, there are no rules." There are no right or wrong answers. Don't limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head. AND you don't have to have your words up on Sunday. Take all week if you want!
Monday, August 18, 2008
You are Ernie
| You Are Ernie |
| You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you! |
Thanks to Jenny and The Gal. They both took it and inspired me to do the same.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Unconscious Mutterings
- Signature :: pen
- Olympics :: medals
- 100% :: success
- Damn! :: again
- Gold :: medal
- Fresh and natural :: look
- Fraction :: math
- Hurry :: late
- Summer :: over
- 29th :: end of the month
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Saturday nine
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Had my first driver's lesson tonight and other things...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow morning?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I'm alive
I hope you guys are well. I'll be updating more tomorrow, I'm not home. If anyone wants to get in touch with me, my email addy is in my profile.
Take care!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
The bad blogger update
On the student, the update is that we hired a young lady that's being doing a FANTASTIC job. She's serious, wants to work, on time, dedicated and people appreciate her. It's been a good thing. We hired her on July 3rd and she started on the 4th. And because of the fact that she's independent and doing a good job, I've been able to not go there as much. I have to admit that The Lawyer has pushed me to let go and let her work alone and to trust her. (cut the cord) I'm maybe over-protective, insecure or controlling ??? (Don't answer) but I wanted to go there too much and she gently but firmly told me that once a week to visit my student is enough. She can reach me at home or on my cell phone if there's anything, but nothing more than that.
On the topic of being pushed (insert roll-eyes smiley)The Lawyer's been pushing me (gently and with affection) about me not having my driver's license. I have finally, after many discussions, taken an appointment for august 7th to ger my learner's license. I have refused for over 10 years, it was not even something I was willing to discuss.
I've been working but also reading a lot, taken some sun, enjoyed the summer even if we haven' been having that much nice weather. Even if I'm just enjoying life I've been working and growing a lot inside ...
I miss you guys but I'm not far, I'm just on the other side of the blog's door. My one year anniversary is coming, I'm going to get my butt back at it's place.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
A belated update but I've got a good excuse
1. Don't trust anyone
2. The generation of the 20 years old and less sucks (What are they called, the Y generation?)
3. Dealing with employee is a pain in the ass?
4. I can't control everything and sometimes even if you do your best, things still end up getting fucked?
5. Patience and letting go?
6. None of these answers, God's just testing your faith and you have miserably failed?
I'm half kidding, this has taken it's toll on me, I feel like hell, I don't sleep really well and I just want my life back. I seriously just want my damn life back.
breathe, breathe, breathe... Everything will work out great, in the end, it'll be fine. Tomorrow, we are interviewing 5 students, I gave them all a call and had a little chit-chat with them today. We'll see what happens. Pray for us please?
On the personal level I've had an awesome girl's night out last Friday with The Passionate One, The Lawyer and The Cute Blonde, we went shopping, bought clothes and went for sushis, it was great.
Off to get my butt back in the Parish's computer. I'm sorry for the lack of update and visits to each and every one of you. I promise, I'll be back.
:::smooches:::
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tag time

The Gal herself tagged me, and I'm glad, because it gives me an excuse to use this cool picture. Now, here are the rules:
a) Link to the person who tagged me.
b) Mention the rules.
c) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about myself.
d) Tag 6 other bloggers by linking to them.
e) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged.
And now, I am sure, more than you ever wanted to know...
1. I've got a very high score on Word Challenge on Facebook but I didn't achieve this alone. One afternoon, The Lawyer and I worked as a teem on Word Challenge and score this high result. I'm not proud of it because I didn't achieve this alone. I'm smart but not fast as she is. She, BY HERSELF beat me a week after and I think she's awesome and freaking smart.
2. If my underarms aren't shaved, I feel dirty.
3. I feel naked when I'm not wearing foundation and powder.
4. I wear size 6 or 7 in shoes. (6 if they are hush puppies, 7 for the others)
5. Every time I'm afraid or scared I pray and it calm me down.
6. I'm efficient, productive and I love to be in the action. I just need to learn to manage my perfectionism so it stays positive and doesn't eat me inside.
I'm tagging anyone who wants to play? Vixen? Lara? The Mommy Project? Ruff Diamond? Claudia? Izzy? Jehara?
Sudoku are a good remedy for insomnia...
I'm relaxing and trying to get myself ready for sleep by doing sudoku in a little book, I played "Word Challenge" on Facebook, for some reasons, using my brain helps me relax.
Tomorrow is the first day of my student at The Church, I hope it's going to work out. I trained him for a part of the afternoon Monday, reviewed everything with him and I'll be with him tomorrow morning to start and I'll be present on and off for the first days, then, "God willing" things will turn out well and this is going to be easy for me as the supervisor. I am putting "God willing" in quote because I am not in control of the situation and I told him (God) that I was on the edge of losing my mind so help me god, this needs to be an easy thing.
It was the St-Jean Baptiste in Quebec yesterday, which is for Quebec what the 4th of July is for the Americans. On Monday night, a bunch of friends got together but before I had dinner at The Lawyer's house with another friend of ours, it was fun, we had fun with The Lawyer's baby boy.
Oh, my MacBook went to the Apple official repair store on Monday because he was slow and the technician changed the memory and it's back to it's regular speed. I had to reinstall everything, the program, the backup I made of evertything I had on my baby and I'm just happy it's working.
The Gal is right, I know I need a break from The Parish because I'm starting to feel like an angry bitch and these people don't have to pay for my lack of energy and need for vacations. I mean, even if they aggravate me sometimes, they just shouldn't have to pay for this and I'm being careful not to lose my smile and niceness when I'm doing church's stuff.
I've been feeling a bit better because I was actually able to enjoy some time with friends, real fun times. Nice talks, heart-to-heart, laughs and that kinda lightened my mood. I was in such a pissed off mood Friday and Saturday I almost sent The Friendly Boss (TFB) my resignation letter.
Poor TFB was once again right. I may or may not tell him what I just posted. I'm sure he already knows, the man knows me THAT much.
So until I can sleep I'm going to be doing sudoku and doing the tag given by The Gal.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Guess what?
Mass was OK I guess and my little speech before the last prayer went well. I thought I was clear and I thought people understood my words but after 3 people came up to me and said "What did you say?" and suddenly I remembered that people just don't pay attention when someone speaks at the microphone. For some odd reason, they don't listen. I knew better than getting mad because it's always that way but it did piss me off a little bit.
My compassion meter is a bit broken when it comes to church business and that's freaking sad. I think I need vacations from The Parish because I have no tolerance left. I'm tired, I have been swamped and overwhelmed with Church council's business and I need a break. I'll get it in a few weeks. I'm going to survive and be well because I have a "real-life" outside of the Parish but I need a serious and total break and as soon as my student is able to work by himself and function well and as soon as the Parish's datas are transfered I'm going to be on vacation for few weeks.
I got a call Friday morning from The College and my college program is scheduled to start on August 18.
Other than that life's been treating me well, I've been able to spend quality time with friends and enjoying myself... I'm sorry I haven't been visiting you guys as much as I use to. I promise, I'll get my butt back in gear soon enough. How's life been treating each and every one of you?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The "donated" furniture
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Saturday update with pictures
I have my student, I hired him Tuesday in the late evening, he starts on June 25st and I'm happy about this (TFB is happy too). Will I be willing to do the process again next year? I can't answer now but we'll see.
Church council on Tuesday night was, let's put it this way "weird", Mr. Power Trippin' was on a roll. Not only did his actions bother me but The Tall Friend saw it himself, The Friendly Boss too, I think he has huge issues with women and I am one. That's one of the problem with the clergy, some of them can't stand women, they think we are inferior and react strangely to our presence. Whatever... (I would write more about the issue but with my luck, someone from the Parish will find my blog and know I'm referring to "him", I could refer to him as "He, who shall not be named".
I took pictures for The Gal, of my purse and my shoes and the new shoes I got yesterday. The brown leather shoes and purse I bought last week and the black leather highheels shoes, I got yesterday. I love 'em. I feel feminine, hot, sexy...
I was sick last night with acid reflux and for some reason, puked my gut out until 1h00 AM. The freaking acid burns... Oh my gosh, but I'm better now, I did think I was not going to survive this but all is well.
I just vacuumed, mop the floors and did laundry. I'm going back to reading a book and relaxing. I need this, after a few week of Parish's hell, I need a break.