It's tuesday night and I'm sick with a cold....

I feel like utter shit, all day sick with a bad cold, I've been a bit sick but crap today? I felt like I was hit by a fucking B-Train.

At 9h30 I call our guy in charge of shipping and begged him for some pills, decongestant or something. He had Sudafed, I almost ran to his department to get the pill. I took it and felt better until 15h00 when the effect was gone. Shit, for 2 hours I sneezed, coughed and blew my nose who was very stuffed. Anyway, I bought decongestant and lozenges, I just took 1 pill with 2 Benadryl to be able to sleep because pseudo-ephedrine makes me hyper.

Anyway, I felt sick, my throat hurts, my glands are swollen, my nose is stuffed and I have to come out to let all of you guys know. It's an important truth, something you need to know and that you'd know if you knew me IRL.

I'm a whiny baby when I'm sick, I'm really whiny and needy and wish someone would/could cook for me, fix me food and take care of me. I'm usually the one who takes care but when I'm sick, for God's sake, I'm whiny.

How's everyone? I had an OK day at work, tomorrow will be better and busier. This evening I spoke with The Passionate One and then called The Friendly Boss (TFB) because I'd gotten an email from him early in the evening and wanted to touch base with him. We spent 2 hours on the phone trying to fix his wireless connection with his router. Needless to say we didn't fix the problem BUT we had a nice talk, we chatted and laughed. It was relaxing.. I hadn't planned to stay on the phone with him 2 hours but it was a pleasure to do so. The man's always there when I need him, always, he comes or listens.

We didn't fix the problem but I found a solution. I email a friend of The Father, he's a computer technician, he's a genius. He's the one who help me with my router, so he'll help TFB for sure tomorrow. He already replied to my email saying "Tell him to call me at that time".

So, I'd stay online longer but I've gotta work tomorrow. Even if it's my last week, I still need to be good, professional and work hard. I have told my team to use me for the days left "I said guys, I'm available, anything you want, I'll do the calculation on anything, explain what needs to be done and I'll do it. Use my potential please, I want to, use me" and they've agreed to it. I'll be helpful, there's nothing worse for someone like me not to be used at our full potential if that makes sense.

Thursday, the company is throwing a 5-7 in a bar in Bigger City to celebrate my departure and 2 others. I'll be going. When they asked me if I agreed to it I said yes, but that made me a bit sad, because I'm actually going to be leaving on Friday.

Hope you guys are well!!!

It's already sunday night!

argghhh!!!! Can you believe the weekend is almost over? I can't but good things have to come to an end. Tomorrow is my last Monday at this job. Tomorrow is the first day of my last week there. It's kinda bittersweet but whatever, I can't do much about it. The only thing I have control of is my attitude, that's what I can control, that's what I do control.

I've got a bit of a cold, my throat is itchy and a little painful, I've been taking Tylenol and bought some lozenges today.

You know what I told TFB yesterday afternoon? We were talking about our mass, how it can be really boring, how we need to improve and make some changes because clearly, less and less people are attention, I said "I wish our celebrations were interesting to attend when things aren't bad". Because in time of crisis, any type of mass can be OK but when things are good and life's calm, it can get really boring. Does it make any sense? I did go to church yesterday in the evening and like I just said, it was good because I needed just peace and quietness.

I'm in a good mood, I'll survive this, I've been through worse.

I hope you guys have a great week!!!!

Check my new look, AKA Thanks to NW Designs!

I was blessed to receive a blog makeover, offered by NW Designs. Isn't it great???

She is fun to work with, I had no ides what I really wanted, so she followed some things about me and her instinct. Her work is great. Follow this link to visit her NW Designs Blog.

Thanks so much chicky, you brightened my weekend. So, do you guys like it?

It's Friday night and I'm relaxing....

You know what surprises me the most in the light of the recent news? How fast I went back to prayer, it's always going back to what is essential in time of crisis to focus on what needs to be done... Roll up our sleeves and focus on what needs to be done. But whatever, I've been praying a lot, I've been doing the serenity prayers as much as I do breathings.

One sentence that was on my mind a lot "My heart is steadfast God, My heart is steadfast". And I kept taking myself back mentally to where I need to be. When it's at work, to be there 110%, focus baby, focus. I know I'm kinda hard on myself, don't worry, I know but whatever, it's keeping me pretty happy and positive.

I've prayed and repeated in my mind Don't take it personal, it has nothing to do with you, breathe, calm down, it has nothing to do with you".

People commented on my ability to focus and how strong I am. What the fuck? Would you really want me to lose it in front of you? You'd like me to cry and cry? What would you do? I'm just not willing to open up my sadness and my emotions at work. I have trouble opening up to friends, I'm just not going to do it with strangers.

I stayed until 17h30 yesterday because something needed to be taken care of and this morning I was at my office working at 7h20. I am paid BTW from 8h00 to 17h00. I am not paid for overtime, and even if I'm leaving next Friday, I'm acting like I'm going to be employed by the company for 20 more years. Does it make sense to you? Because it's shocks so many people at work that I react that way.

I know I shut off my emotions when in turmoil, I don't open up easily, that's why I was saying how great it was that I open up with TFB so easily . I keep my eyes on the goal, focus and keep the peace because when one door shuts down, 10 more open. I believe there's something waiting for me... I know NO details but in my heart I believe that everything will be OK.

It's not easy and I'm not super woman, seriously I'm not but I control only my attitude and that makes the difference in how I see things.

I'm ready to relax all weekend, I'll drag my butt to church tomorrow but the rest of the weekend is up for peace, quietness.... I'll keep in touch with TFB and SW and with other friend.

I'm sleepy, I drank some Amarula a little earlier, poured some in a glass, straight from the bottle, I would have drank some more but I didn't wanted to get drunk...I know, I'm a good girl. Mr.Cat is looking at me, he's a hater, this cat is just not supportive, he just focus on his own little cat needs! I will put a lot of food in his bowl so he lets me sleep in tomorrow.As I'm being mean to him, he just lays on the fllow looking all cute. :sigh: You never win with 'em males. TFB would call me a sexist right at this moment if he heard me. Whatever, you guys are mysterious, humans or cats.

Sorry for the long entry, It felt good.

Well, finally an update

Sorry guys about my lack of blogging, I just had a crazy week. I read the emails that you sent me, comments but I was busy at work, then in a meeting last night until 22h00.

I'm hangin' in... I had not prayed that much in months, I'm still pretty not willing to discuss this at length. I've talked about it a lot with TFB because than man is special, I opened up with my doctor on Tuesday... At work people are pretty shocked with my mature reaction, impressed at how professional I am and they've been telling me since Monday. My boss, the one at the company's head office told me yesterday how freaking impressed he is with me and the way I'm handling myself and my attitude. We'll see how next week goes. But to impress the bigger boss at head office is a positive thing.

I spoke with our human resources manager, she's a very sweet person, as I was telling TFB last night, I wish I had 50% of her confidence, gosh I would break walls!!! She was incredibly sweet with me, we talked in person but it was easier for us to connect by emails afterwards. Anyway, at the plant, I'm seen as very strong, mature, professional and positive.

Today was a busy crazy day but few times I had to tell myself "This isn't personal, relax, this has nothing to do with you, don't take it personal"... Like managements meetings to which I'm invited by emails but that I can't attend, everyone is going but me but as I said, this has nothing to do with me, it's OK. It's not easy not to take it fucking personal but I was able to relax and let go. I'm exhausted, over tired. I need to sleep, I want to rest....

Thanks to everyone who's thinking of me.. Thanks to NapWarden who's making me a great template..


Love ya all!!!

Guess what I did this evening?

Following an hour long talk with The Friendly Boss (TFB), ( my friend and former boss from before), I updated my presentation letter and my resume and actually send an application for a job as a customer sales representative, something similar to what I'm doing now. I know am good at it, I enjoy that type of job.

It helped me to do an action like this one, a first step. I've been looking at jobs, classes in tech school, in college, at university. I've been kinda looking everywhere. Tonight the long talk helped me focus and ACT. It pacified me, the talk really did... Share about my day, my stress, my weekend, his too and his perceptions . I'm feelin' good, focus on the only thing I can control: my attitude.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

God, Thank you for giving love and family to some close people around me who deserve the best and needed badly those moments....

If people want to keep in their thoughts and prayers my colleagues who were laid-off Thursday, I'm sure it'd help.

I've been listening to this since yesterday. How sad is this? Borderline pathetic eh? Hold me for a while is the name of the song.

Well, what a day it was....

Au contraire of all of my fears the day was OK and actually good. The weirdest but good for the self esteem thing was that so many people gave me positive feedback on my maturity, my professionalism, the way I was handling the news. I'm also the only one who was laid off that actually came back to finish the 2 weeks... Can you please keep those other people in your thoughts? Some had been working at BMC for many many years.

I know I'm mature and professional but it's nice to hear it by others. I'm also not the type to pour my heart onto strangers, I mean, I'm really sad to be laid-off but I'm still going to keep my head up and act like the woman I am. I'm strong, I am a peacekeeper and I can do whatever I want. Sky's the limit!

It's very important to keep a good name and have a good reputation, I will preserve it because I'm acting as I should. It's sad but I know better things are to come. Thanks to each of you for the support shown and the thoughts. I really appreciate it.

I got home early because The Tall Friend picked me up at work at 17h00. Tomorrow I'm leaving work a bit early to go to a Dr's appointment that I'd cancelled in December when my boss requested that I stay when I was suppose to be off that day. It's the day my cable Internet is installed also. Phone, Internet and TV are all going to be from the cable company, screw Bell Canada. (the deserve to lose their clients, they treat us all like crap)

Again, thanks a lot for the support! I am well, I'm hangin' in tough.

Thanks Candy for reminding me...

Thanks to Candy for sending me the link again to this beautiful text.

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be,
If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade in the morning
And that this will pass away, too,
Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains,
I can suffer whhatever is happening
For I know God will break all the chains
That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear,
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

I hope you have a good day and a good week. I'll be updating tonight. At the moment, I just want to do it one hour at a time, one day at a time.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I hate havin' to say this

I've been trying not to post this since Thursday, because it sucks but whatever, I just cannot NOT post it, I'll eventually have to. I learned late Thursday afternoon that I was laid off. Because of financial difficulties, my job will be cut, so in 2 weeks, I won't be working at BCM anymore. They wish they could keep me, because I'm good at what I do and I'm professional but they've got to lay me off. (the company's struggling because the industry isn't easy at the moment)

I don't really wish to talk about it I have told very close friends but not everyone close to me because that's the way I am. Anyway, few people know, I'll be fine. I just think it'll all become more real if I say it here too.

I had my Friday off as planned but they offered it to me, without taking on my vacation time. I'm ready to go tomorrow. I just hope no one will be uncomfortable... From what I understand 5 employees were laid off, I'll see who the are tomorrow.

Anyway, that's update... I don't really have much more to say. I did had a OK weekend, was with a friend on Friday night, Saturday TTF and I did stuff to fix the church's microphone and system and we all had dinner together and a fun night.

I need time and peace....

I'm gonna pass on Thursday Thirteen this week

Just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to do a Thursday Thirteen this week, I could do it but I don't have time to visit everyone, it'd be unfair of me to submit one and not visit anyone eh?

I had less than 4 hours of sleep last night, I had to whip myself to finish the day and be productive cuz I was lacking sleep hours. I'm home, I'm gonna try to get my butt in bed in less than an hour. I'm going to have plenty of time to post this weekend.

I have asked my boss to take a day off Friday and he said yes. Yeah!!! I'm gonna have a 3 days weekend. Yeah baby!!!!!

So I'm going to rest, sleep, give everything I can tomorrow at work to leave for a long weekend without any worries of forgotten things and I'll update later tomorrow or Friday.

Have a great Thursday!!! Enjoy your TT, I'll see ya next week!

My boss offered us the book "Who moved my cheese"?

I got a great new year's gift at work. My boss offered his employee the book "Who moved my cheese?", I read it once today and it is great. What an awesome gift. I was at a meeting tonight and The Friendly Boss (TFB) has recommend me to read the book "Water the flowers not the weeds" and this one seems like a great thing too.

I'm exhausted, I should be sleeping but I got home not long ago, I'm drained so I'm full of adrenaline , I'm hungry but I promised myself to STOP snacking because this isn't good for the tummy.

I almost peed my pants tonight, during the coffee break we were around the table...

The Tall Friend (TTF) says while taking a very long biscotti (at least 6 inches long) that I made for the meeting and brought with love...

" Taste it, it's better in your mouth than in your ass."

I was hysterical, I laughed, he laughed, TFB laughed and those who understand English got it; because he said it in English. I know it may be weird but remember that where I live, first language is french. That's the day-to-day language for 99% of people in my area. So well, not everyone understood what he meant but it was so funny. While I was giggling, I thanking God for the Kegels I do regularly, it helped me not to piss my pants.

Everyone loved the biscottis and the coffee but The Parish Priest who (DUH!!) said "This cookie is very dry". No shit It's suppose to be that way, I tell him, , it's not a chewy cookie. No one is forcing you to eat em' you know. I just thought about saying my sarcastic comment, I STFU. Dude, the guy doesn't understand not to mess with a girl on her period. Grawrr!!!

Crap, it's almost midnight, I'm so going to be tired tomorrow. Bad, bad No Nonsense girl.

These people need our thoughts, strength and prayers...

Follow the link, it's confession of a CF husband. The guy and his wife (Tricia) are expecting a baby, she (Tricia) is on the latest stages of cystic fibrosis.

Please, visit them, think of them, pray for them, for their baby girl Gwyneth Rose who is expected to be delivered by csection Friday if mom is OK. Baby girl is 25 weeks, mom is very very ill .

Please guys, help them, send them prayers, vibes, love, thoughts... Save the mom and the baby.... Please God, make a miracle happen.

I hate mondays... am I alone?

Every freaking Monday reality hits me in the face "crap, the week started again", weekend should be longer.

To make it worse, the coffee machine was still broke at work. (in my department) That alone almost drove me to the edge! I get my boiling water from the machine, I bring my own instant coffee (because 6 coffee a day would be 3$ and that alone would be 15$ a week, hell no!!!) I mean how unfair for us to live without coffee and boiling water. The machine in the cafeteria is awful... I bought one but it's like worse that cheap ass instant coffee, imagine your dirty socks infusing all day? well coffee in the cafeteria is worse than that. I'm just kidding, it's not that bad.

The repair guy came around 14h00, I wave to him "you are my hero!!!" he open his eyes and starts to tell me he doesn't know how to restart the machine oh for fuck's sake, why are you here??? Shouldn't you know how to do that, isn't that your job? Oh, I'm sure there's someone you can call do I tell him and he proceeds to call on his cell phone. It's not working he tells me... "I know, it's impossible to get a signal here, it's because of the walls, you're going to have to use our phone or go outside... An hour later he comes in my office and tells me the machine should work in a matter of 15 minutes. Boy, were we all happy!!!

So , I'm sure you already have guessed that I'm in my jammies, on the couch, getting ready for bed. I've got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, a church council meeting in the evening and a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I'm actually feeling better, I've had a rough couple of days for many reasons... It's gettin' better, It always does. I wish I could put my kindness aside and translate for you a text from the parish bulletin from this Sunday , I told TFB tonight "I makin' fun of the text with you but I wouldn't dare put it on my blog! I'd probably get purgatory days for it!!! I'm not posting it but I'd be funny, lets keep it at that.

Have a great week girls and guys!

The weekend is over eh?

When you look at the clock on a Sunday night and realise it's 19h00, it's shocking because it means the weekend is almost over eh? Uh no!!! I want a longer weekend, I wish I controlled time. Don't we all?

This girl actually went to mass last night? Yup, I did! I lite a candle (cost me 4$ ) but that was my outing of the weekend. I did not do anything else other than going to the public library... I was suppose to go out for dinner tonight but it was cancelled.

I'm anti-social, I'm looking forward for weekends to just rest, relax and not see a lot of people. Maybe I'm depressed? Anyway, that's my short update, Mr.Cat and I are alive and well, I'm reading a book called "Company man" and it's very good!!!

How was your weekend? Anyone with so little to describe? I mean how strange it is??? I enjoy time in my jammies!!!! Big plans for the week? I have a church council meeting on tuesday, that's about it for the moment.