Slice of life from yesterday :)

I totally went on a shopping spree, Clinique products from my Sears clinique counter, lots of little nothing from Zellers, household products from the evil Walmart FWIW, I don't think walmart is evil but that's how The Mother perceives it.

And I went to my favorite, the best in the world clothing store for women, and I say it and I'll say it again REITMANS is THE best store in the WORLD . This is free publicity, I'm not paid to say it, the clothes are awesome, affordable and the girls who work there are angels, especially M and L. I left with a pair of black pants for work.

And I was inspired to attend mass, believe it or not, there's a chapel in Bigger Town mall. So I went to mass and met with 2 friends there, isn't that something? And like it was planned, a group of friends and I met at TYP's new home for dinner and we had a great evening.

I love these little moment of pure happiness.

About opening yourself up...

Mainly it'll open communication with others.

I spent a great afternoon chatting with MsDM's DN who's a really sweet, funny and wise woman. I went to MsDM's apartment when DN called me to let me know she got stuff ready for me (memories of MsDM), so on my merry way went there, helped to move some stuff and while we waited, we started to talk about our life's and ourselves. She told me that she believes that when we open up, it makes other people open up, I can't translate the words but she says "l'ouverture amène l'ouverture". If I open my heart and talk about myself, it helps other people to open themselves up to others, it helps communication, trust and it's good because if I open up about something I went through, it may helps others. It's simple, really, as love brings love, the more you give, the more you receive.

You reap as you sow. The more you sow, the more you'll reap. The more you open up the communication lines with others, the more likely you'll have relationship based on love, trust and respect. Does that make any sense to you?

Anyway, I really enjoyed my time with DN, she's going to remain someone important for me. It was really easy to open up with her. She's a woman after my own heart.

I got some DVD movies to watch, I already watched The number 23, it's kinda creepy and reminds me way too freaking much of The Ex Boyfriend. For those who know the issues with TXB you must be laughing your ass off huh?

Now, This is for DN, for the prayers she need to solve something.

St-Jude,
Patron of desperate situation, we need you to help DN, you know what she needs, you know it's important. Please, help us with it. *Our Father* *Hail Mary*

Amen

PS: Saint Anthony, MsDM loved you very much and had total faith in you, please, if there's anything you can do, treat yourself and solve this problem.

Do you believe opening yourself up and the communication line is something good? Is it something you can easily do? Is it rewarding for you?

And if you can send prayers or good thoughts to MsDM's dear Niece (DN), it would be appreciated.

I want my cookie

I totally DID NOT get in a fight this afternoon when I bought my coffee at The Coffee place.

Some freak dude (he's a very unstable guy who goes both to the JW, the Born again christian and us catholic) shouts at me:

Hey, you guys don't read the bible huh? You don't read the bible! All that said in a very aggressive tone.

I loudly replied to him and I mean very loudly:

I'm soo not getting in a religious fight with you, I'm soo NOT taking the bait. Have a good afternoon.

I left with my coffee cup and my muffin and on my merry little way, went to church. I didn't take the bait, I didn't argue, I left peacefully. Who's the winner eh? Who is it???

I need a good kick in the butt

Honest to God, I need to have my ass kicked. I can't for the life of me focus on work. I've got a big booklet to translate from french to English, it's somewhat easy but I can't focus.

The sun is shinning, the birds are singing, I want to go out damn it. Jeez, and I'm working until later tonight. well, at least it's sunny outside, I'll get more visitors because of the beautiful temperature and my chances for sun this weekend are good.

Luckily, I'm off tomorrow and Monday, I love to use my vacations to get long weekends. I'm listening to TFB and taking my vacation time.

I'll be dropping by the retirement home to give a friend of MsDM's goodies she asked me to buy and I'll go get a coffee at my favorite coffee shop. I freaking hope to God I won't hear the nonsense from some employees there (it's owned by JW) that we aren't saved because we aren't JW. Yeah, I'm good enough that you want me and my money but you are condemning me to hell? Yeah...

What.The.Fuck.Ever.

Dude , respect is a 2 way street, I totally will NOT get into a religious fight and debate with you guys but give me a freaking break in regards to your beliefs and mine. That's really starting to aggravate me, I mean how can I be good when it comes to my money but you say catholic aren't on the right way. I don't have an opinion on your salvation because I just don't have one, please keep your opinion on MY salvation to yourself because I will stop coming.

Have you ever met someone who argued with your religious belief? Has anyone ever told you you were NOT going to heaven?

It's been over 2 weeks

That we celebrated the funerals of MsDM gosh, time flies... I sure miss her a lot.

Monday her DN gave me a little statue of the Holy Family that was MsDM's and she said she was going to give me a rosary that was hers also.

MsDM, I know you can hear me, so please help the police find Cedrika, please, please do something. I was talking with co-workers at lunch and I'm one that still believes that she's alive. No matter what happened, if she's alive, anything's possible.

Don't get me started on pedophiles, I swear, don't get me started.

Freaking rain

Yeah, you heard me, it's raining AGAIN.

What the hell happened to our summer? We didn't had such a cold and snowy winter and our summer sucks. Few good days of beautiful weather but weeks of rain and thunderstorms.

It's hard to get up in the morning when it's dark and rainy. I'm like The Retired Priest (TRP) his mood totally depend on the weather, he's funny, when it's sunny he's happy and cheery but when it's raining Oh My God, he's in a pissy mood, he's bitching and everything stinks.

Off to go back to work, the freaking rain depress me. At least the coffee's good. I can't believe I'm working late tonight.... ughhhh...

Don't mind me, I'm having a not-so-good day! Oh and nothing new on the disappearance of Cedrika Provencher.

I know I'm off topic

But someone has to do something, Cedrika Provencher has been missing for a week, that's why I'm posting her picture on the web. Maybe if every blogger posts her picture, and we all do a little something, maybe we'll find her.

It's been a week, a whole freaking week. I can't imagine her family's sadness and anxiety... It's just the most difficult thing.

Cedrika, you are in my prayers honey, your family is too.

Edited to add another picture, the missing portrait from Radio-canada



Missing: Cedrika Provencher
Age: 9 years old
Height: 1,52 M (5")
Weight: 31 Kg (70 pounds)
Hair: Curly, brown and reddish
She was wearing a green summer dress

Information: 1800-659-4264

Find Cedrika Provencher

News article

TROIS-RIVIERES, Que. -- Police say they won't abandon the search for Cedrika Provencher until they have exhausted all leads -- and they have enough work to keep them busy for a while.

Police have received about 500 tips about the nine-year-old Trois Rivieres girl, who has been missing for a week, and are following them up, Surete du Quebec Sgt. Isabelle Gendron said.

"There is no time limit on this investigation," Ms. Gendron said Monday night. "We'll continue the investigation until there is nothing left to check out."

Despite all the calls, police still don't have a firm theory on what happened to Cedrika, who disappeared last Tuesday night after going for a bike ride in the residential neighbourhood where she lived. Cedrika was last seen about 8 p.m. by neighbours who said she was looking for a missing black and white dog.

The next day, searchers found her bicycle in a garbage container behind an apartment building about 1.5 kilometres from where she was last seen.

Ms. Gendron said at least two other children had been approached by a suspicious man in the days prior to Cedrika's disappearance, asking for help to find a black and white dog.

Jenny Girard, a Trois Rivieres woman who has three children, also told police a man on a bicycle approached her babysitter three days before Cedrika vanished and invited Ms. Girard's five-year-old daughter to swim in his pool. The babysitter turned down the offer.

Investigators have met with witnesses in hopes of getting a description of the man, but still don't have enough information to put together a composite sketch. They hope to release a sketch in the coming days.

Ms. Girard said yesterday she is anxious to view the composite sketch to see if it resembles the man who spoke to her babysitter.

Ms. Gendron said police are appealing to all Trois Rivieres parents with children about the same age as Cedrika to ask their youngsters if they saw a man looking for a lost dog.

She added, however, that while police are considering Cedrika may have been kidnapped, they are exploring other avenues as well.

"It is possible a man really did lose his dog," Ms. Gendron said. "We don't know."

Surete divers were searching the St. Maurice River Monday and officers were performing targeted searches within Trois Rivieres based on tips from witnesses.

Martin Provencher, Cedrika's father, went on television Sunday and pleaded with whoever may have abducted his daughter to release her.

Cedrika Provencher is five feet tall and weighs 70 pounds. She is white, and has curly red hair and brown eyes.

Anyone with information about her disappearance is asked to call the SQ at 1-800-659-4264.

Other link about Cedrika

An amazing feeling of freedom

Is what I felt today when I went on a sailboat for the first time ever. It was breathtaking. I swear, I've never felt that free of my entire life. The beauty of nature, the feeling that the wold has endless possibility to offer and that the sky's the only limit. That everything is possible... Oh My God!

I wouldn't go on a sailboat trip with someone I do not fully trust. Luckily, I did already fully trust the friend who took me on the lake. I did get very wet but that's alright. It's a small price to pay to feel that great.

Church was nice, brunch was great and the afternoon at the lake was just the coolest thing. The kids had a blast. 5 adults, 5 kids and a lake.....

I'm pretty sure I'll sleep well tonight, I'm pooped.

An update

I took a day off yesterday ( I still have vacations time to take) and helped The Young Priest (TYP) to paint his new apartment, shop for household stuff and then spent the evening caring for my friend's kids. I love these little boys soo much. They melt my heart...

While we moved TYP stuff from his old apartment, I kept smelling MsDM's scent all over the place. I went to her room, stood there, sad, soo very sad. I know she's in heaven, I know she's happy there and I'm still in pain because she's dead. I need to talk about it but I don't know where to start. Anyway, it was very difficult to smell the scent and remember the good times we had in that apartment. I miss her very much.

I'm going to take Monday off and the following Friday. TFB told me to take my vacations, that I deserved the time off and to take care of myself. We were on the phone this afternoon for work-related business and he joked and said I was obedient and it's true. I'm a strong spirit, not afraid to speak my mind (not afraid enough ) BUT when someone I trust is able to show me a better way to do something, I comply because there's no way to get better without changing and learning. So yeah, I'm obedient and this makes me laugh because The Ex Boyfriend would disagree with TFB and I. Hey dude, obedient and submissive aren't the same thing.

Tomorrow, I'll meet my friends and their 2 boys to church, we'll go to our favorite place for breakfast, then meet with other friends at their camping place for the afternoon and have dinner with them. This is going to be a cool day.

In my prayers today: the little 9 years old girl who's missing in Trois-Rivieres , MsDM's Dear Niece (DN), and my beloved MsDM.

A wonderful event!

I know I always seem to be complaining about my parishioners but last night, a group of people and I had organised an activity to celebrate the anniversary of our parish's founding. Well, it worked! We did the historical tour of the parish's surroundings, guess how many people joined us? Approximately 60, that's from our town, and other cities also.

I was happy that it was a success, I was happy because many people took the time to hear about their history, their past and joined us in the celebration of our great anniversary.

The Historian we had hired really delivered, he was just awesome. He stepped up to the plate. My dearest friends who live in Bigger Town came to support me, only The Nurse wasn't there but it's because she was working, the 3 others were present. God I love them)

Anyway, I'm just very thrilled this morning even tho I'm tired because I got home at 12h10 AM. Yeah, yeah... TFB, SW, The Historian and I went together for a beer after the evening. We talked and talked and talked... It was a great evening!

Oh and at my age, eating McDonald's at 12h15 AM isn't a bad choice, it's not very good but when you haven't ate anything since noon, it is good.

Thanks guys for the great evening and for making me believe that we can do great things in the parish. People like you make the difference!

A middle of the day *slice of life*...

I'm translating some stuff for work and because of the heat, because it's almost 15h00 and because I didn't got enough sleep last night, I'm fighting sleep. I'm trying not to fall asleep at my desk.

I'm trying to focus but I can't...

My mind wanders from work related thoughts to MsDM, to the scheduled parish activity for tonight, to when I'll be home to shower. I'm not focused at all!

I need to sleep, I need for the freaking day to end, I want to go home.

Jeez, anyways I'm going to the nursing home to visit someone who knew MsDM well, I was told this morning that this nice lady isn't doing well and is in shock. So I'll go visit her, she needs comfort and I think this'll make her day. That's what MsDM would want me to do...

Tonight's planned activity will be interesting, many people told me they were going to be present, if the weather can remain ok, NO RAIN please.

I need a hug, I need some sleep, I want my bed.

Oh and FYI this is a slice of life!

A week ago...

A week ago today, we celebrated the funerals of MsDM. She died on July 24th. A week has passed, a week has passed. That's unfreakingbelievable!

I miss her, this feels unreal, like unbelievable. My heart aches, my heart really aches. I want to cry, I can't I have to get to work and look OK at the very least.

Today is the feast of Saint Alphonse Maria of Ligori. St-Alphonse pray for us.

grieving and mourning

Grief is an amazing thing, it can shake you really deep and at the same time help you grow a whole lot.

I'm grieving MsDM and at the same time I'm grieving the loss of my family. What sucks and is worse is that they aren't dead but for reasons beyond my control, we can't reconciliate. Don't email me to let me know it's "fixable", IT ISN'T.

I tried for years and some things just can't be fixed because when one doesn't acknowledge their responsibility over actions and blame the other for anything and everything, things just are problematic. The Mother said very hurtful things to me including how I wasn't a part of their family that you know what? I got the freaking message. There's no need to tell me over and over again. For God's sake, I got it. I need to get over that fact and move on.

At the same time, I'm grieving MsDM, I'm going through the stages of grief in regards to my family.

You know, the thing is that MsDM gave me her friendship, her affection, her love, her kindness. She saw who I really am, like my friends, she saw ME, she loved ME. She took me for who I really am, as I did with her. She was a lovely woman, an amazing spirit. She taught me a lot about faith, about what really matters. I loved her, I still love her.

I need to write more about my feelings, I need to write her DN about the amazing healing I received from MsDM's last day. I'm finally able to to let my pain out, I'm able to cry for me, finally....

The journey is hard, the road sometimes sucks, I'm at a turning point, I need to follow the right direction. The journey to happiness is a long one, but a good one, it's one where you meet people that are God sent, they'll change your life for good. If you are willing to open your heart.

MsDM changed my life, her family touched me a lot. I'm surrounded by great friends, I need to get over the pain because of The family.

Something that one of MsDM kept telling me (and she intended no harm) was that you have to stay close and take care with your blood-related family because in the long run, they'll be the only one to stay, be there for you, support and love you. I know she means it and it is great for her but every time she said it, I felt as if a rock was hitting my heart, making it heavy. One time I said to her :

I understand that's the way it is for your family and I'm glad to hear it, but not everyone has that luck. Many families are apart for X and Y reasons. Some people can't count on their blood relatives. I know it's what makes you happy but it's not that way for everyone.

I wanted her to at least know that she's lucky, it's not that way everywhere. I didn't wanted to burst her bubble but I needed to get it off my chest.

You know the strange things, MsDM family said I was amazing, an angel and thanked me and It's fine, I know I did good but what breaks my heart is that my mother think I'm worthless and never took my side. I'll get over the pain, I need to grieve my family and move on.

I stopped at the church after my appointment with my hairdresser and lite a candle for DN. She was in pain today, she was very sad. I lite up and said " Now God, I'm lighting this candle up for DN, I'd like that you take special care of her for the time the candle will burn, send her peace, love and comfort. Please protect her, surround her with Your love, she needs it."

Matthew 11:28-30
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


Lord, bless DN, bless all of those in pain today, send upon us your mercy, your peace and your love. Give us Your peace and the strength to follow the right direction. Bring comfort to those who need it, bring love to those who are carrying a heavy burden and please, Lord Jesus, protect all of us, your children.

MsDM, we love you and miss you. Help us!

PS: I'm open to the idea of being adopted guys. Let me know if you'd want me as a relative.