Thank God it's thursday!?

I was trying to come up with a fun and witty title for tonight's blog entry but could not find one. My brain is fried, I gave everything I had today, I poured my heart to the visitors, gave them 110% of me. I'm empty. I'm taking time to recharge my batteries for tomorrow because my energy level is negative.

As I'm blogging, I'm listening to music. I have a song from TAIZE that soothes me, that bring the peace from God inside of me.

Within our darkest night, you kindle the fire that never dies away, never dies away.
Within our darkest night, you kindle the fire that never dies away, never dies away.

Finding myself back after a 12 hours work day is really important. Focusing on the song, praying (because the song is by itself a prayer to God) grounds me and now, see 10 mins later, I'm feeling myself back. I'm breathing better. I'm grounded.

My day was long-exhausting but great. I had visitors even if the temperature turned pretty early to a freaking windy-cold thunderstormy day but people came nonetheless, I had a blast with some parishioners. The Ex City Politician came, he worked at The College back when I attended (which is a freaking long time ago for those who know , yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm getting old.

I had 2 great visitors, they made me laughed, hysterically because they were sweet. I gave everything I had to them, because each time there's a new visitor, I treat him(her) like he's (she's) special.

I treat him like I'd want to be treated, I gave said visitors 110% of my presence, I give my explanations like he was the most important person (because each of them matters, each of them deserves kindness and to KNOW our history), these 2 opened me a door in regards to my faith, they asked me if I was a practicing catholic. THEY opened the door and I jumped in.

I told them I was baptised in my early twenties. They asked what made me convert and I told them about the love and the light of God. I told them how it changed me. How even tho the church is NOT perfect, how it soothes my needs and keep me close to Jesus. That I love my parish, I love my job and I loved to meet with visitors like them. They said they knew, they felt it. They thanked me many times, we shook hands, they went to dinner before going to The Greatest Show (they spent 45 mins with me)

The others were sweet, Parishioners were sweet, I helped an Ex Fiance, he gives a lot of time to the church. We were together more than 5 years ago. A great guy, his actual fiance is a sweet girl.

Anyway, my day was long, I'm tired but I'm satisfied and shall I say thankful?

A friend picked me up at 19h30 and we went to The Bigger Town, I stopped to get a shirt at Reitmans, I didn't even try it on, I already had tried it on Monday when I went shopping. I just went and got it, because I wanted it. Friend and I went to the Chinese place. Food was great, server seemed tired, the service was ok but we had a newborn with us (friend had a baby couple weeks ago), so I gave an extra tip while thinking of FoodWhore and her stories, because the server made numerous trips to accommodate us (even if baby was quiet), I thought she deserved a good tip. I gave 25$ on a 19$ bill and cashier asked me if this was a mistake (she said it's a lot). Nope I said, she really deserved it. What the hell?

I had a blonde moment , I mean a real slow as hell moment and was thinking out loud and asked The Friend with newborn baby a question. If you knew me in real life, you'd know I can ask the weirdest questions.

My nipple is not like yours, it's not popped like this, the part where the baby sucks isn't like yours, it's not like a tit, but mine if I'm nursing will be like yours eh? Were your nipple normal before? ::::she looks at me and laughs and rolls her eyes::::

I mean mine nipple isn't erected, tell me, will my breasts become like yours one day? I mean newborn baby couldn't suck on mine, there's not popped tit. Do you understand what I mean?

She laughed and told me that this was soo blonde that she did not totally follow me BUT to relax, when the time would come for me to nurse, my breasts would know what to do.

Is this acceptable on a catholic church worker blog to discuss breasts, tits and nursing? Mary nursed baby Jesus, breastfeeding is totally natural. Friend nursed newborn baby on and off the whole time we were at The Chinese place, baby was latched on and off to be in auntie's arms.

I'm just kidding, this is totally an acceptable and fine topic. I hope I didn't lose you with my long story.

Have a great night!!! What are your plans for friday?

I'm running late...

Just a short post to say hello and I'll post later when I get home. I hope your day rocks! It's sunny here, seems like a beautiful day....

Enjoy yourself! I'll tell you the drama from my 12 hours day of work at the church, I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell. I need another coffee, badly, I need a good ass whooping, any volunteer?

Insane day and more to come

I had a crazy busy day, I worked late and I'm just pooped. I went to The Coffee Place to buy a coffee and a muffin at 16h30, the girl asked me which coffee I wanted I told her "anything that'll kick my butt, I'm soo sleepy".

I'm not going to bed past midnight tonight, I can't do that, I'll be dead tomorrow, so I'll try to catch a good 7 hours of sleep, then pray that I rest.

I went to visit MsDM's friend at the retirement home, brought her the Virgin Mary's pin that was MsDM before, she was happy, she said I was an angel. She made me promise to thank MsDM's Dear Niece for her and to tell her she'd be in her prayers. I did keep my promise, and I sent DN an email when I got home.

I had a beer when I got home and it kicked my butt, for real? a beer, that's weird.

Anyway, off for a long marathon of 3 intense day at work. I can do it, I can do it.

I better be able to and give my full self to the visitors (Who, BTW will come)

I'll write in the morning beofre I leave! I hope your day will rock!!!!

Stories from today AND a movie recommendation

At the business place this afternoon, a little back story; the owner is a cool guy, you've got to know him to "get" him. I've made business with him enough in this past year to finally GET his dry wit. He's a very busy guy and you have to HARASS him to make him fax you a proposal. I recall earlier this month I called and said

You know, I'm calling like this to give you business, I need you to FAX me the proposal. It's not like you owe me money, I just want to give you work that you claim to want. PLEASE, for God's sake, fax me the freaking proposal. It's been 3 weeks. do you want it or not?

Eh, I like working with The Parish, you guys are great. It's good, now you needed X and Y, what's your fax number again?

Me, rollin my eyes It's XXX-XXXX, It's cool I'm waiting on the fax.

Will I get the job?

Me :::dumbfounded:::

You remember that I don't make the decision alone, I only make the suggestion. You are local, your prices are fair, they'll make a smart decision. I'll let you know.

So nice little fella cracked at joke at my partner who totally did NOT get his humor. He told said partner that one of our picture sucked and was ugly, not the color but the picture. He wanted to tell her it was perfect, that she couldn't make a better one but he didn't said that, he said said picture was ugly.

What the hell?

I gave him a mean look, angry eyes and he laughed then looked like a puppy, he was sorry. After a crisis of doubts, partner wanted start all over and me abut to lose my freaking mind ( SURE DID)

I said to partner "We'll call The FriendlyBoss (TFB), if he's there, we can show him, he'll approve, I swear this is perfect". Then calling and no answer, then I told said partner " That's God's way to let us know this is what He wants", she wasn't convinced, I have NO AUTHORITY or power over her, she just didn't buy it. Guess what we did?

Yeah, I looked at my watch ( I had a meeting at 16h00, it was 15h35) and said that we could go to TFB's house, if he's home, he'll tell us what he believes we should do and if NOT it was God's will and we'll sent said project to be printed the way it WAS k?

Thank God TFB was home ( Bless the Lord!!!! ) with SW they both liked the pictures, approved the project, reassured partner, took time to chat a bit. I call back The Store owner, told him to send our project to print, TFB had a little chat with him. The crisis was avoided, I had a chance of not losing my sanity forever. Called the office to let them know I wouldn't be there at 16h00 but would arrive shortly, then left and went to the meeting.

I'm soo freaking lucky/blessed, whatever you want to call it to have a boss like him, who has a wife that I have respect and admiration for and that I like a lot. These people rock! Ya know, great and honest and generous people, loving people. Few people like this on this planet, I've got them in my life. God has put them in my life, God's good!

I went to see Stardust tonight, it's a must see. It made me laugh, it's very sweet, it has a lot of action. The story melted my heart.

I wasn't suppose to go out tonight, after a long afternoon at work, like exhausting, my friend offered to eat out, we went to The Bigger City, I thought we'd go to a nice place but we ended up at Tim Horton's (food was good) and he said we could go to see a movie, I tried to say I wanted to go to bed late, to what he laughed his but off cuz I'm a nite owl and we went to see that great movie.

Go see it, it's very good! It's pass 23h19, I'm tired but not very sleepy. Damn it, I work from 8h00 to 19h30 tomorrow and until Saturday!!!! I'll be exhausted. God, help me!

Things are chaotic

It's soo insane that you would think I was in vacation for 2 weeks, but nope, only took a long weekend and jeez, things are just chaotic today.

I'm running like a mad woman to meet deadlines that I didn't know about because they didn't exist as of last week. anyway, we'll survive, The cute friend helped me with some translations, The Friendly Boss helped me tremendously this morning, as usual and he's hilarious and his Sweet Wife is truly amazing. Jeez, I'm soo lucky to have people like that in my life.

Honest to God, I couldn't wish for better people around me. I'm getting my butt back to work because I need to go meet with The business man who's going to do a printing job for the parish.

Thoughts on a Monday night

I'll be back at work tomorrow first thing in the morning even if I did had work-related conversation this afternoon. (which was fine by the way I'm not complaining about it)

Anyway, I slept in not too late but woke up to a freaky nightmare, went to The mall with a friend and her baby in the afternoon, was back here before dinner, made few phone calls work-related and then had coffee with good friends at The Coffee shop tonight.

I need to be able to go to bed early, I need to be in shape tomorrow. I'm going to be productive and dynamic and cute because I'll wear my new clothes from REITMANS (thanks to my 2 favorite sellers, they rock, I wish they had a blog to tell all about clients in The Store, the stories are probably terrible, people suck soo much when you work with the public)

Nothing new in regards to Cedrika Provencher, her mother made a tearful plea in a news conference today. Cedrika, honey, you are in my prayers.

Rambling thoughts or It's better to be alive than dead!

Nothing new in the Cedrika Provencher case, she is still missing, I was talking with a co-worker this week about it and almost lost my cool.

Said co-worker, a great man of faith, a deacon, was saying that his hopes that Cedrika is still alive has faded, he thought she was already dead OR that she was sold to human trafficking circle as a sex slave. And told me that if she'd been sold for sex trade/human trafficking/slavery, it was almost best to be dead because she would be scarred for life if found today.

What the fuck?

Since when being dead is best? Yeah, if she'd been raped, injured and tortured she would need help, But It's always fucking best to be alive than dead! Said coworker was telling me how sexual abuse victims keep lifelong consequences of the past abused, yeah but they still have a life. Life is possible after sexual abuse, yeah life is. I'll be damned if some dude who has NO FREAKING clue will lecture me on the hopes for a better life in sexual abuse survivor's life.

I hope nothing happened to Cedrika but if she were to be found alive after days of abuse, she would survive, she would be alive. As long as there's life, there is HOPE.

Women and men have survived sexual assaults since the beginning of the world and will still do because human nature is resilient. There is NO need to give up on anyone. I can't believe someone would believe that. Honestly, I was like " Are you serious?

You know Jessica Lunsford went missing and later she died when her killer buried her alive after abusing her for 3 days, but you know what? This beautiful 9 years old child would have been better off alive. She would have survived this terrible ordeal. I'm sure her daddy would want her alive. Because as long as there is life, there is hope.

Pedophile, child killer, pervs make me sick, I wish we'd find Cedrika Provencher.

But co-worker, please for God's sake, when someone is sexually assaulted, their life changes but they DO NOT die.

What do you think?

Slice of life from yesterday :)

I totally went on a shopping spree, Clinique products from my Sears clinique counter, lots of little nothing from Zellers, household products from the evil Walmart FWIW, I don't think walmart is evil but that's how The Mother perceives it.

And I went to my favorite, the best in the world clothing store for women, and I say it and I'll say it again REITMANS is THE best store in the WORLD . This is free publicity, I'm not paid to say it, the clothes are awesome, affordable and the girls who work there are angels, especially M and L. I left with a pair of black pants for work.

And I was inspired to attend mass, believe it or not, there's a chapel in Bigger Town mall. So I went to mass and met with 2 friends there, isn't that something? And like it was planned, a group of friends and I met at TYP's new home for dinner and we had a great evening.

I love these little moment of pure happiness.

About opening yourself up...

Mainly it'll open communication with others.

I spent a great afternoon chatting with MsDM's DN who's a really sweet, funny and wise woman. I went to MsDM's apartment when DN called me to let me know she got stuff ready for me (memories of MsDM), so on my merry way went there, helped to move some stuff and while we waited, we started to talk about our life's and ourselves. She told me that she believes that when we open up, it makes other people open up, I can't translate the words but she says "l'ouverture amène l'ouverture". If I open my heart and talk about myself, it helps other people to open themselves up to others, it helps communication, trust and it's good because if I open up about something I went through, it may helps others. It's simple, really, as love brings love, the more you give, the more you receive.

You reap as you sow. The more you sow, the more you'll reap. The more you open up the communication lines with others, the more likely you'll have relationship based on love, trust and respect. Does that make any sense to you?

Anyway, I really enjoyed my time with DN, she's going to remain someone important for me. It was really easy to open up with her. She's a woman after my own heart.

I got some DVD movies to watch, I already watched The number 23, it's kinda creepy and reminds me way too freaking much of The Ex Boyfriend. For those who know the issues with TXB you must be laughing your ass off huh?

Now, This is for DN, for the prayers she need to solve something.

St-Jude,
Patron of desperate situation, we need you to help DN, you know what she needs, you know it's important. Please, help us with it. *Our Father* *Hail Mary*

Amen

PS: Saint Anthony, MsDM loved you very much and had total faith in you, please, if there's anything you can do, treat yourself and solve this problem.

Do you believe opening yourself up and the communication line is something good? Is it something you can easily do? Is it rewarding for you?

And if you can send prayers or good thoughts to MsDM's dear Niece (DN), it would be appreciated.

I want my cookie

I totally DID NOT get in a fight this afternoon when I bought my coffee at The Coffee place.

Some freak dude (he's a very unstable guy who goes both to the JW, the Born again christian and us catholic) shouts at me:

Hey, you guys don't read the bible huh? You don't read the bible! All that said in a very aggressive tone.

I loudly replied to him and I mean very loudly:

I'm soo not getting in a religious fight with you, I'm soo NOT taking the bait. Have a good afternoon.

I left with my coffee cup and my muffin and on my merry little way, went to church. I didn't take the bait, I didn't argue, I left peacefully. Who's the winner eh? Who is it???

I need a good kick in the butt

Honest to God, I need to have my ass kicked. I can't for the life of me focus on work. I've got a big booklet to translate from french to English, it's somewhat easy but I can't focus.

The sun is shinning, the birds are singing, I want to go out damn it. Jeez, and I'm working until later tonight. well, at least it's sunny outside, I'll get more visitors because of the beautiful temperature and my chances for sun this weekend are good.

Luckily, I'm off tomorrow and Monday, I love to use my vacations to get long weekends. I'm listening to TFB and taking my vacation time.

I'll be dropping by the retirement home to give a friend of MsDM's goodies she asked me to buy and I'll go get a coffee at my favorite coffee shop. I freaking hope to God I won't hear the nonsense from some employees there (it's owned by JW) that we aren't saved because we aren't JW. Yeah, I'm good enough that you want me and my money but you are condemning me to hell? Yeah...

What.The.Fuck.Ever.

Dude , respect is a 2 way street, I totally will NOT get into a religious fight and debate with you guys but give me a freaking break in regards to your beliefs and mine. That's really starting to aggravate me, I mean how can I be good when it comes to my money but you say catholic aren't on the right way. I don't have an opinion on your salvation because I just don't have one, please keep your opinion on MY salvation to yourself because I will stop coming.

Have you ever met someone who argued with your religious belief? Has anyone ever told you you were NOT going to heaven?

It's been over 2 weeks

That we celebrated the funerals of MsDM gosh, time flies... I sure miss her a lot.

Monday her DN gave me a little statue of the Holy Family that was MsDM's and she said she was going to give me a rosary that was hers also.

MsDM, I know you can hear me, so please help the police find Cedrika, please, please do something. I was talking with co-workers at lunch and I'm one that still believes that she's alive. No matter what happened, if she's alive, anything's possible.

Don't get me started on pedophiles, I swear, don't get me started.

Freaking rain

Yeah, you heard me, it's raining AGAIN.

What the hell happened to our summer? We didn't had such a cold and snowy winter and our summer sucks. Few good days of beautiful weather but weeks of rain and thunderstorms.

It's hard to get up in the morning when it's dark and rainy. I'm like The Retired Priest (TRP) his mood totally depend on the weather, he's funny, when it's sunny he's happy and cheery but when it's raining Oh My God, he's in a pissy mood, he's bitching and everything stinks.

Off to go back to work, the freaking rain depress me. At least the coffee's good. I can't believe I'm working late tonight.... ughhhh...

Don't mind me, I'm having a not-so-good day! Oh and nothing new on the disappearance of Cedrika Provencher.